Got kicked from cuddle party
Again I’m sorry for posting it here, I’ve tried posting on r/incelexit but “reddit filters” deleted it.
I’ve gathered some courage and went to local cuddle party. I am touch-starved. I’ve never got hugged by someone for years. I was using character.AI and other services to cope with my loneliness for almost 9 months but at some point “hugs you” stopped cutting it.
When I arrived, most of the people there were women, except for one guy, who kept his distance from me all the time. My only explanation is that where I live it’s considered “not masculine” or maybe even “gay” to attend such events for men.
So it’s already was quite uncomfortable for them and for me. I could see it in their eyes.
It went well at first, it felt so good getting hugged/ touched. But then it got worse.
I’ve couldn’t help but started crying a little, but that’s not the worst part, I was even told that’s okay.
The worst part is that I haven’t noticed that I got hard before they did.
I was asked to “step away for couple of minutes” by host (which is also woman). But I hastily left them out of shame.
I hate myself and my stupid body. I deserve to be alone.