I don't know if this counts as an addiction.
I have a problem with this thing, where I hate myself whenever I indulge in it. I waste so much on it, especially time wise- it makes me spiral for no less than three hours. And it's cost me so much, because now I feel like I can't do anything, I can't even be anyone real. Like life doesn't even feel real without it. I struggle so much to not do it, sometimes I'd be in the middle of it and I'd think how terrible it is, how many things I should be doing instead of this, the way it's costing me so much already. I'm 25 but I still feel like a child, I never got to have any proper experience with anything monumental because I was busy doing this thing for the last ten years. I swear I try to stop, I really do. But the moment I feel a little bit stressed or overwhelmed I end up being stuck in a loop of repeating this thing over and over again, while hating myself in the process. I've lost weeks on end. I don't know what to do, I don't even know if it's valid. I'm just stuck. I want a life outside of this. I want to be able to process emotions in a healthy way. I want to finally do everything I've wanted or at the least meet the basic expectations of a 25yr old. I can't get a job, and when I had one I was so poor at it. It's a stupid stupid thing to have me on a chokehold like this.
I realised I didn't even mention what I'm talking about. Anyways it's maladaptive daydreaming