After 20 years of living and having amazing friends for most of those years I cant take it anymore. i spent so long fucking LAUGHING at people who self harmed and never got it myself but its finally caught up to me! i drank and drank and my life is over and i had friends who would have pulled me out of this pit but i decided giving myself permenant scars was fucking worth it because im a terrible person who did everything in his life to deserve this. IM A TWENTY YEAR OLD MAN BY THE WAY AND THIS SHIT IS PERMENANT FROM ONE DAY OF DRINKING i want to leave everything so badly i used to have friends but now i dont and its come to a fucking boiling point help me.
I'm so fucking miserable all the time but of course the one time i decide to do something its whil drunk and after a whole 24 hours of internalising the idea of self harming help me i miss everyone i wronged in my life i know im a horrible person who pushed everyone who loved me away and i know im being an overdramatic pusssy over a few scars but god i want out of this life
i did all of this to myself and im so sorry for it i want my friends back fuck