u/KaiserVonUmbrisch

Involved in long plot in a Curse of Strahd setting. About 7 months invested in my character.

My character I will call "River" gets in some mess with a Adele von Zarovich. She was involved with Ralph before the Zarovich showed up and his affection for River, leads to Adele threatening her. It is said Adele stopped caring. River goes through hell IC due to this whole situation. Key details, was in love with the man, Zarovich got mad. PC Krewella gets to bang this guy without concequences. She confronted Ralph and Krewella and called the inn they stay at, a nobles brothal.

Character we will call "Ralph" is a servant of Strahd who liked River at the start of this story. He is soon claimed by Adele Zarovich.

The Zarovich family member, not Strahd. We will call "Adele". Forced this guy into marriage.

PC who got away with threatening Ralph, then banging the guy and so on we will call "Krewella"

River puts items down near castle ravenloft, or poetic notes of the landscape, since she seeks pardon from Adele when she finds out all the cheating. She's ignored as she wants pardon or to speak, perhaps die at this point since she lives a lie hiding due to having once loved a man. Sent letter asking pardon. Is told shes forgotten by said Adele [for now]. She met the Ralph before he was taken by Adele Zarovich as fiance agaisnt his will. [Turns out he played around with the whole town after my character had to run away to not get her face removed by the Adele previously.]

I was warned by one of the DMs, there could be a reaction to putting items down around the gate of Ravenloft. I tell the DM she wouldn't want to provoke the Zarovich's, but I am up for some danger if it does. Figured it would be getting a arm tortured off, as has happened to others who went as far as to try and kill Zarovich's servants or lovers in the game. Krewella slept with Ralph and got a house even, cause they had been "punished" with betrothal to Adele von Zarovich.

I was up for danger and concequences. [To be clear, I don't imagine it leads to death. I am new to the setting. I seen other players get away with so much. Threatening the counts servants, harassing them, trying to kill them. I just don't see the threat. I had always been told I would be warned clearly of permadeath OOC if my actions would lead to permadeath.]

Adele's plans for River got shoved into this punishment. Was told by the DMs she had pissed off Strahd himself now because poetry was in his yard.

Shoved in jail. I was compliant. River is tortured, face disfigured, her whole family is to be killed in front of her and in public, then she is to be paraded and set free to live as an example, as was said by the DM PC Ralph.

I ask to be able to have a quest to break the disfigurement curse on her face. Other DM some reason now brings up Permadeath the next day, say Ralph was lying to her IC or didnt know better. I ask cause there was a miscommunication, that they do anything but perma her.

Group rules to closure her or kill her off with one attempt at escape from jail. I feel betrayed and unhappy. I say, I will try the escape I was given, and if I fail, I will accept closure. Just don't put the escape with the execution. The DMs put it with the execution despite what I asked. Said that it is the most realistic to the setting and narrative. I the player feel sick as a dog and disrespected. I would work with them on the escape/execution but I get too sick if it is both combined.

Things are on pause. I can elaborate more but is there any input? I don't need to be backed up or have Yes men. This is the short rundown of months of a story. I am being told its all my own fault, and that I am upsetting myself. Been told by Players and DMs I should be happy the permadeath will be a great shared story. I said I would leave if they went ahead with this.

Probably will delete this in a short time. I don't care to be found by the group, but I do want feedback. Input or help. It feels like I'm forced into this completely no matter if I like it or not. I probably don't explain it well. I am exhausted from back and fowards with DMs and my fellow players over this, and can't think straight. A break isn't working to make me feel better.

Been told I am out to control the story. And my reward for all the characters challenges and risks is to have this epic death, and impact their stories. That making a new character is rewarding.

I gave them lots of liberties, I trusted the DMs with my character. I said do anything but close her. That is the only boundary I set and said clearly.

Edited for Clearity. I was trying to be painfully vague. Should have used a throwaway account but it is what it is.