u/Kaen_Ko

Does anyone have that thing while they’re manic when their pupils are either VERY big, or very very very small?

I lowkey look like I’m on drugs (well generally I do while manic, but especially regarding my eyes), and people literally tell me I do.

Is this normal? Does this happen to anyone else?

I was like out with my friend today and just bought stuff without thinking- especially clothes, games, accessories and food, and I’ve even paid for all her stuff.

I didn’t spend THAT much, just about 250 dollars. But I guess there are others signs? Like I do have a lot of energy and do stupid impulsive stuff.

Idkkk I’m already diagnosed and my friend knows and she was like “are you manic” and I just looked at her and laughed and then went to buy the clothes lmaooo, and now I’m realizing i might be? Uhh idk anymore.

I have to know if some of you have ever experienced this or still do.

I’m short, I was seriously sexually and emotionally abused (I won’t elaborate) by a family friend who babysitted me when I was very young (ages 3-7 approximately).

At those ages (starting at 5), I had those nightmares like every single night of monsters hurting my family and I, especially my dad. Hurting in the physical sense- even eating us alive.

I would not sleep alone at night and would demand every night to go sleep with my parents, which pissed them off, but I couldn’t sleep alone- because those nightmares kept repeating in my brain literally like a TV changing channels.

Is it because of the abuse? Though it isn’t even connected to anything sexual, so I don’t know. Have anyone experienced it?

Got diagnosed lately as bipolar after a manic episode, although I’ve had several episodes over the past years.

Three months ago I was in an inpatient psych ward, there I did three of my finals (math and 2 finals in English), and currently am in the last year of high school, having left 2 finals- biotech and physics.

Well, my mental health’s been pretty bad for years now, until the point of hurting myself and trying to off myself for years. After the psych ward I tried to stop with it, but then the manic episode came and messed me all up.

Right now I’m on quetiapine, and it’s making me soooo sleepy and tired. I lowkey hate it.

Anyways, just ask me anything and I’ll answer.

I honestly don’t know why I behave in certain ways sometimes.

I feel like I’m obsessed with a partner if I truly love him. Like I want him to always be with me, always talk to me, etc.

I feel super clingy, and I feel like if someone will ever leave me I’ll break. And yet, I push people away when it’s hard.

I feel toxic, I feel shitty about my behavior, and I feel like I’m wrong for being like this because it might actually hurt others.

I won’t go into details, but I’ve been sa’d by a family friend for 4 years when I was 3-6. He always played with me, complimented me, gave me gifts and tasty stuff. I loved him. Even if he did what he did.

And then, afterwards, been sa’d by my best friend for 2 years when I was 9-10.

I’ve been hurting myself since I was 8, and trying to off myself dozens of times. I’m diagnosed as bipolar and do super dangerous impulsive stuff sometimes.

Anyways, I kinda feel hopeless right now… so yea.

I honestly don’t know why I behave in certain ways sometimes.

I feel like I’m obsessed with a partner if I truly love him. Like I want him to always be with me, always talk to me, etc.

I feel super clingy, and I feel like if someone will ever leave me I’ll break. And yet, I push people away when it’s hard.

I feel toxic, I feel shitty about my behavior, and I feel like I’m wrong for being like this because it might actually hurt others.

I won’t go into details, but I’ve been sa’d by a family friend for 4 years when I was 3-6. He always played with me, complimented me, gave me gifts and tasty stuff. I loved him. Even if he did what he did.

And then, afterwards, been sa’d by my best friend for 2 years when I was 9-10.

I’ve been hurting myself since I was 8, and trying to off myself dozens of times. I’m diagnosed as bipolar and do super dangerous impulsive stuff sometimes.

Anyways, I kinda feel hopeless right now… so yea.

2nd time posting, and I’m still kinda bored lmao.

I’ll tell you the weird stuff first, because it might make you not want to talk to me.

First of all, I’ve been diagnosed recently with bipolar disorder. I’ve had a really big depressive episode of 6 months, in which I hurt myself and tried to commit s (ODed 100 pills). I’ve had dozens of seizures and almost died, and because I didn’t tell anyone for 2 days (just did in the hospital bc I had to), I’ve suffered from awful side effects for two weeks (couldn’t stay in one place, couldn’t sleep, body weak asf..), and at the end of them went to inpatient care (a psych ward) for three months.

Just 2 months ago I got out of there, and now I have a lot of catching up (I did my maths and English finals in the ward, learning everything alone- got 20/20 in both!!), and I got biotechnology and physics left, which is basically the hardest for me.

Well, as you can guess I absolutely love maths and I’m kinda sad it’s over (since I don’t wanna pursue it in university). Also LOVE genetical engineering and immunotherapy, it interests the shit outta me. I love cooking, baking, reading n writing, I paint sometimes (mostly sceneries but also ppl), I listen to music often (mostly “old” rock like oasis and the Beatles) and like going on walksss.

I have a hard time in real life to connect to ppl, but I love helping others, especially in stuff I know well (not to brag before them though I swearrr).

Prefer for you to be in EU or NA due to time zones reasons, and also in my age range (18-24). Thank you :>

Welllll I guess that’s it!! If you wanna know more you’re welcomed.

I’m just 18 (F), but so many people have stigmatized me already.
Why do people think me having bipolar means I’m crazy. Why is it the first thing that ppl think about me?

I’m so sick of being treated like I’m insane or dangerous, when I’m actually struggling.

It’s either people thinking of me as unstable or people thinking it’d be easy to manipulate me because of this mental illness.

Am just out of a psych ward, currently in the last year of high school. Ironically enough I want to be a psychiatrist. Maybe that makes sense I wanna help ppl like me tho.

Got diagnosed lately as bipolar after a manic episode. They said it’s probably bc of what I went through as a kid plus genetic issues.

Anyways, just ask me anything and I’ll answer.

Please help me get rid of this shit!!

TW!!! Please do not read this if you are sensitive to this kind of information.

I’m 18 now.

And since I was basically 8, I’ve always had those dreams, fantasies and nightmares all combined of different people manipulating me, beating me up, all while r@ping me.

I don’t even want to admit this, but I’ve even pleased myself with those scenarios.

I find it disgusting, I don’t like it, I honestly like hate it. And yet, happens almost every day since I was 8.

I won’t go into details, but I’ve been sa’d almost daily by a family friend for 4 years when I was 3-6. He always played with me, complimented me, gave me gifts and tasty stuff. I loved him. Even if he did what he did.

And then, afterwards, been sa’d by my best friend for 2 years when I was 9-10.

Since then, I’m stuck with these kind of fantasies, and being bipolar sure doesn’t help.

Hmm well I just got to know this sub, so I’m kinda curious.

I think I’ll tell you the weird stuff first, because it might make you not want to talk to me.

First of all, I’ve been diagnosed recently with bipolar disorder. I’ve had a really big depressive episode of 6 months, in which I hurt myself and tried to commit s (ODed 100 pills). I’ve had seizures and almost died, and because I didn’t tell anyone for 2 days (just did in the hospital bc I had to), I’ve suffered from awful side effects for two weeks, and at the end of them went to inpatient care (a psych ward) for three months.

Just 2 months ago I got out of there, and now I have a lot of catching up (I did my maths and English finals in the ward, learning everything alone- got 20/20 in both!!), and I got biotechnology and physics left, which is basically the hardest for me.

Well, as you can guess I absolutely love maths and I’m kinda sad it’s over (since I don’t wanna pursue it in university). Also LOVE genetical engineering and immunotherapy, it interests the shit outta me. I love cooking, baking, reading n writing, I paint sometimes (mostly sceneries but also ppl), I listen to music often (mostly “old” rock like oasis and the Beatles) and like going on walksss.

I have a hard time in real life to connect to ppl, but I love helping others, especially in stuff I know well (not to brag before them though I swearrr).

Welllll I guess that’s it!!

What does it mean about my future relationship, my and my partner’s connection and behavior?