Hi all, I really need some tips and suggestions.
I have a 5-year-old who is currently at the peak of typical toddler behavior, being stubborn, wanting things his way, and being mischievous. I also had my second baby 3 months ago.
For the first two months after delivery, my older child stayed with my husband and in-laws and visited me on weekends while I was at my mom’s place recovering. That arrangement helped me rest, but now that it’s summer holidays, he is back with me full-time.
Lately, I find myself snapping at him constantly. I get triggered so easily, especially while trying to teach him to be more independent,like eating on his own, bathing by himself, and spending at least 15 minutes a day on writing practice. He is in ICSE, and if he takes a break from writing, he seems to lose the habit and it takes a long time to get him back on track.
Another thing that is worrying me is how excited he gets around his baby sister. He loves her, but in that excitement he sometimes falls on her, twists her hands or body, or handles her roughly without realizing it, and that makes me even more anxious. I find myself constantly on edge trying to protect the baby while also managing him.
The hardest part is the guilt. I feel terrible for losing my patience so often, and I’m worried he may start resenting me. At the same time, I feel guilty that I’m not able to spend enough time bonding with my 3-month-old because I’m constantly occupied managing my older child. My parents aren’t very hands-on with toddlers either, so I feel like I’m juggling everything on my own.
I really want to handle this better, but right now I feel overwhelmed and stuck. Has anyone gone through something similar? How did you manage this phase without feeling like you were failing both kids?