Had a passion for videography and illustrating for a really long time.
Long story short I got a job as a videographer, shit salary but my naive 18 year old ass didn’t realise that, but the dream of living a life like Gawx, Nolan on the Run, josoriginals or those creatorcamp types of people in their 20’s travelling the world like a normal, average young adult gave me hope that things will get better.
For a year I lived alone with progressively worse material conditions of living, struggling to afford expenses and can’t do anything fun (delivery driver in Dubai wage) and now because of the Iran war I had to leave and with no raise, with no money.
Even compared to my peers on film school (by peers I mean acquaintances since I don’t have friends) they get to have praise on their film screenings, they make lifelong friends, they get to have fun while I have to slave away creating short form content, they get to drive away from the city into nature while I’m stuck in a cramped studio shared with 8 people and an abusive illegal partition “landlord”, they have parents while I have to be alone in a foreign first world country to keep making money otherwise I’ll go to my home third world country.
I gave up that job, and now my dream of living a happy normal life through actual art (cinematography, furry art lol etc.) or even brainrot content is dying because all this time I had hope, even for small steps like making friends and yet none of that every came to fruition.
I was supposed to be like those people, online or irl at 19 but I’m now behind every normal kid in college.
Thanks for reading :)