We were so excited
Trigger warning, maybe??
So, we’ve been trying for 3 years, doing IVF for one. We did our first embryo transfer at the end of April and found out on May 4th that it was successful. By May 6th, my numbers had only increased 33%, instead of the hoped-for doubling or at least 60% rise. By Wed, my numbers had dropped even lower than they were on Monday. I spent Mother’s Day weekend miscarrying. My first miscarriage, so my world is rocked right now. Part of me wants to take a break, but I know I can’t afford that with my age and only one embryo left, because what if we have to do another retrieval? Time is just not on our side.
I’m just so deeply sad and exhausted. My partner is incredible, but I feel like I just need some support from people that have lived this in a physical sense (the pain, the blood, the hormones, the way it changes your relationship with your body, etc etc). This journey has been filled with so many disappointments and setbacks, so it felt so, so good to finally feel excitement and hope… just for it to be gone 48 hours later. Deflated.
Edit: thank you to everyone for the responses. I am deeply touched by the kindness, support, vulnerability, and camaraderie. Thank you for sharing and for sending love and healing. I am sending it right back to each of you. Thank you, thank you.