Hard time since evaluations
Hello! Super duper long, super sorry.
My son just turned 5. He is not diagnosed I want to preface. He had a difficult birth after my difficult pregnancy, some nicu time- mild delays, torticollis and PT, tongue tie- he met milestones without too much concern. He went to a private small daycare since he was 12 months old for about 3 years and really did well there.
We transitioned to a local bigger daycare and he did ok before he began prek; right when he turned 4- it then turned into more like a summer camp and he found it incredibly overwhelming. At the time I was told it was THE THING to do to help them adjust for public pre-k, “every kid in town” did this- ect. He began showing some anxiety but I thought it was just the change and adjustment. He began saying it was too loud there, they would let him stay on the baby side or in an office with the owner- I didn’t really realize at the time that these were accommodations and without them he would’ve been struggling so badly.
He began prek and did well! He loved the bus, his teacher, but he struggled with peers and connecting- he is social and loves adults and kids but tends to be goofy or silly the teacher says. He struggled to do things he didn’t WANT to do, pay attention, use a pencil as his peers did, ect so we began private OT. Then they suggested evaluations for special education for kindergarten. Then they said he would only qualify for a 504 which wouldn’t be enough. They strongly feel he will need an IEP- I tend to trust their assessments, the issue is I have to do this privately now through a developmental pediatrician, which will cost me $2500. I’m between jobs, just lost my mother, ect. But we have an appt for the fall and I’m so grateful because I know waitlists are long.
My husband has been dx with adhd since he was 9 and was put on Ritalin which was a bad experience for him, he is on adderall now and I have had generalized anxiety since I can remember including very young childhood. No one will say what dx is expected but definitely some sensory stuff and attention ect. His pediatrician believes he too young for one.
My question is- suddenly everything my son is doing seems WORSE. He did just turn 5. I am a super compassionate person. I always try to think of how someone else feels. I really pride myself in this. I find myself getting super emotional about my son and taking things personally all of a sudden since all of the evaluations began and the digging for a diagnosis. I feel so horrible 99% of the time. He’s the same sweet kid as always, just having a hard time. But I’m having a hard time too, and I feel like it’s my fault.
I plan to keep advocating for him, trusting his teachers, I’m looking into programs and therapies I can do myself as a parent to help him, learning to regulate myself better, trying to get my husband and I on the same page with things. I’m just curious if this overwhelm and almost change in perception is normal during the beginning of this stuff. I keep imagining the worst for my son even though I know we are being proactive and that’s the best we can do.