Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh!
Recently I dealt with loss of a loved one (my mami ji). She and my whole family from my mom’s side is quite religious. She was an Amritdhari and even in her last moments I heard she was saying Waheguru, but she passed away at a young age due to an accident and it was honestly quite painful for the whole family.
However, her side of the family was a little stronger, my Nani Ji and Nana Ji, never skipped praying and were accepting of her death, and overall more grounded not blaming Waheguru.
I begin to look deeper into religion myself, and now I am just utterly lost in questions. I also read Jap Ji sahib and I read about Hukam. Everything happens within Hukam and Gurbani constantly reminds us about the cycle of life and death, even Kirtan Sohiala talks about temporary existence of life and provides us with the constant exposure to death.
But why is it hard to let go of loved ones, and why does Waheguru put us in a family dynamic to begin with, I also read the concept of Haumai and the idea of attachment being a part of it. We possessively hold onto relationships with our family or others. But isn’t it natural part of existence then why is it classified under Haumai?
I understand we need to learn to live within Hukam, rather than trying to make sense of it. We should appreciate Ik Oanakar, for letting them be a part of our life.
However, sometimes it just feels cruel, cause she was genuinely so selfless and kind. She still had roles, she had kids who needed her.
Why is world cruel to some people and others too privileged, this is a part of Hukam but it is quite hard to comprehend.
Gurbani doesn’t offer much about afterlife because it encourages us to focus on our present existence, I have read things about reincarnation and “Jot”. But I would like to believe she watches over us, which again is discouraged by Gurbani. Why were we even placed into family dynamics, if the ultimate goal was to separate from them and become one with Waheguru?
I am try not to sound condescending, I am just a little lost.
Kind Regards