Finality
If I had known, If the story was told, I would have cut it short, Let it go cold.
Had I known the pain, The defeat and despair that would come, I would have never held back, I would have grabbed that gun.
One bullet in my skull, A hand full of pills, Belt around my throat, Air from my lungs spills.
I remember watching the train, Come flying past, Standing beside the tracks, Wanting that day to be my last.
As I seen it coming, The thought crossed my mind, This would be really fast, I’d be gone in no time.
But I was afraid, Too scared to jump, 2 feet from the tracks, But I couldn’t pass the hump.
I stayed frozen to the ground, And watched it fly by, It would have been so quick, Then…. I started to cry.
The tears they came, Rushing down my face, I couldn’t breath, I just want gone from this place.
You got to walk away, You got to leave, You got to forget, You stole my peace.
I was the one, Left with all the pain, A broken heart and soul, A completely wrecked brain,
When the pain is this deep, Soul crushing and sharp, You’ll do anything, To save your heart.
That even means yes, Taking my self out of this place, At least it would stop, All the emotions and disgrace.
I so very badly, Want it to end, No matter how it does, Because I’m at my end.
I can’t take much more, My head feels heavy like stone, My soul and heart want free, My mind left alone.
From all of the thoughts, And the voices in my head, This is exactly why, I just wish I were dead.
Cause they never stop, They don’t go away, The play on repeat, All damn day.
I hope one day soon, Cause I don’t have much fight left, That all of these things go, Before they cause my last breath.