I’m sooo mad at myself
I have been a picker for my whole life, I’m 26 now. I recently had the longest no pick streak of my life, it was almost a year. They were so long and strong and it felt so good to not be embarrassed of my hands.
I “relapsed” a few weeks ago and it has been so bad. I have literally spent all of today in a trance of picking. Like literally 6+ hours. I am literally so angry at myself that I have ruined all of my progress.
I can’t even wear t shirts because my hands are exposed and there are no sleeves to hide them in. I don’t know what to do. I’m so jealous of everyone who feels zero urge to do this. Like this is so so so terrible and painful I’m so upset. They are so sore. I don’t even like eating around people because my hands are exposed!!!!! I know a lot of people here feel the same way but it’s so hard in real life when no one else struggles with it and I can feel them looking at them
I feel like I’ve dug myself in this hole because now that they’re so bad there are so many spots to pick at. I don’t even know where to start