u/Job19-25

I just realized I might be forgetting Animes I have watched. Especially those with long gaps in releasing the next seasons, how do you track your Animes watches?

Today marks 20 years since my SCI(T8 complete). Normally, I just kind of forget about it and remember it the next day. But I guess it being the 20th year feels significant. I was 7 year when it happened. Doctors said it was a tumour in my spine(Didn't even know what that meant back then). I am 27, and almost all of my life has been in a wheelchair. I sometimes wonder if it was better it happened early or if it should have happened later in life, at least when I had enjoyed life a little. I see people walking and have forgotten how it feels to walk. The sensation of urinating is now foreign to me. I remember when I was a child, occasionally I would bed-wet, and later when I woke up, I would remember that I was dreaming of urinating when it happened, and the feeling in the dream was so freeing 😅. Now there is nothing. It's funny, but it is the basic sensations that I miss. This might sound weird, but I miss the feeling of having an erection. I really didn't like it back then because I felt so weird about it, just waiting for it to go down. Such an irony. I am just wondering how my life would be in the next 20 years.

I can't tell anyone close to me this because I don't want the extra sadness they might feel because of it. I know my mother knows the date today, but I don't want to even mention it. Knowing her, she will remind me of it tomorrow, thinking I forgot it. In all this, I worry about her more because I am an only child and she is my primary health giver. You worry about your own issue, but there you have to wonder what the other person must be going through too, I honestly can't.

Oh yes, and I wonder what orgasm feels like. Well, here ends my venting