right now I'm at 17 minutes and I target 30. in your opinion, is that a sufficient time for every day meditation in the future? Even if I manage an hour, I don't know if I can do that every day. Sometimes I do longer guided meditation sessions.
I'm now meditating 17 minutes and manage most of the time to focus on my breath. it's not so relaxing, it feels like thoughts are waiting in the background, weird. But all in all I relax more into my meditation. I read a few posts and some have so high expectations like something big has to happen. don't think so. it's a process. When I get frustrated I think at least I sit on my butt with no distraction in silence every day for a while, and that in itself is good.
I'm practicing now every day for around 15 minutes. Years ago I meditated, but had to stop because I had a depression and it just made it worse. Now it's ok. But every time I sit I have this strong tension in me, sometimes it's hard to breeze. This was the reason I couldn't do it during my depression, it sent me in a spiral of anxiety. I see some effects, like I'm more aware of my emotions. If a negative emotion arises I notice it earlier and I can let it go. Well, sometimes. I feel more balanced and more aware. I like that. But the actual meditation is a real struggle. I try to focus on my breath and it's getting better to deal with distractive thoughts. I breathe into my tension, after a while it's easier to breeze. But after 13, 14 minutes I can't hold it anymore, I get a strong impulse to stop. I'm so far from serenity and relaxation away as you can be. Is this a normal process?