Hi!
I've been dealing with depression for the past 10 years (I'm 27), maybe more but I was studying 24/7 in high school and didn't really have time to think/feel lol, I was a top student. I started having eating disorders around that time (anorexia with intense workouts, then binge eating during my uni years, now I'm fully back into the anorexic mode I believe as I've never been that skinny and controlling). I am also still processing the death of one of my parents that happened two years ago.
Has taking medication helped you with the feeling of loneliness, anhedonia, anxiety, ED behaviours, etc? I really want to get better, feel alive, have a life. It's hard for me to take the step, as I am terrified of gaining weight (I work a bit as a model, which doesn't help). However, due to my ED starting at 15-16, I've never had a period and I read that hormonal imbalances (that lead to amenorrhea) cause mood swings and depressive states. Therefore, I don't know if taking medication is the answer - I feel like it might be a bandaid and that the true cause of it all is the lack of weight and of oestrogen/progesterone. On the other hand, taking antidepressants temporarily could help with my anxiety and ED thoughts, which would lead to gaining weight?
Therefore, I am willing to find a therapist but was wondering if antidepressants could be an answer in my situation: indeed, should I take medication first, or do normal therapy beforehand?
Where I live, there are two types of therapists and only one of them can give you medication, hence why I am asking you here before looking for one and booking an appointment 😄 I don't really have family nor close friends around so any advice is welcome 😄
Thank you for your help! xx