u/JazzlikeTrade6024

Am I the ah for leaving my grandparents house 3 weeks after I turned 17? Back story, I moved in with my grandparents when I was 8, my father went to jail for physical, mental, and smexual abuse towards me, my mother and my younger brother, my grandparents got soul custody after blaming my mom. At first it was nice, then as I got older things changed, I was the first everything, first daughter, first grandchild and so forth, I ended up getting treated like a parent after I turned 9. I was responsible for my younger brother and my cousins, my grandparents were strict, I had to load the dishwasher a certain way, my room always had to be spotless, I wasn’t allowed sleep overs, internet access and I wasn’t allowed to watch “people shows” (shows with real actors) I went to school, the dance studio then home and I’d repeat that everyday of the week. On weekends I got dragged to my brothers hockey games. My brother was kind of the golden child, he could do no wrong, I’d get blamed for things he did, I argued with my grandfather a lot when I got older, (I’m 19 now) and we had the same temper, so when we’d argue it was just who could yell louder and my grandmother always took his side. I was very sheltered, I’d skip school to hang out with my friends, I’d get high so that I didn’t have to listen to lecture after lecture when I got home, I was taken out of dance but my brother kept his two sports, I’d get in trouble if I even breathed the wrong way, my phone was gone through numerous times, another family issue happened that I won’t discuss here but it was bad and I don’t want to put the people involved with that out here, I got blamed for reporting what had happened and everything just went downhill from there, we had food in the house obviously but we always had to ask for a snack or a drink, my phone got checked more often and my grandmother would get mad if I was venting about things, a day before I left me and my grandparents had a huge argument because they told my brother he was just like me, lazy, and didn’t know how to do things properly, I was livid and started yelling which probably wasn’t smart, I definitely wasn’t an angel, I definitely made mistakes, my grandmother threw a coat hanger by my head and it broke on the wall and she asked if I wanted to leave, I said yes and was gone the next day, they told my cousins I left because I didn’t care about them. They made an adult problem into a child problem, my grandmother knows how to manipulate and put the blame on others and that’s exactly what she did, it took me three weeks to get my anxiety meds, and it took almost a year to get my things and I didn’t even get all of them, I tried talking to them and explaining more in depth my side and she just pulled out the “oh I’m just the worst” card, or she’d use the “I got you out of a bad situation” and hold it over my head, I appreciate that she got me out of a bad situation but it felt like I got put into another one, we argued a lot for the first year and a half of me not being there, I finally worked up enough courage to cut contact and she just said how she’s the worst and how if she’s that bad then she’ll just take a step back, she refused to listen to anything I was saying, I cut contact about 5 months ago and I haven’t heard from her since