u/JazzlikeProject6274

Exhaustion. Rage. Frustration. Fear.

Pro Tip: Indignation can push back fear for a while.

I have fought so hard for so long just to have the opportunity to get better. Just to be able to try with the kind of help it will take to get there.

I am so so grateful I have that chance. Months or years? It's okay. At least I've been granted the opportunity to try.

I am not the person I was.

I can feel it. I still care, so much. I have every ounce of compassion and love for people I can spare.

But I don't trust. And I'm hard. I resent the moments of people who were supposed to care just... didn't. My startle reflex is, frankly, remarkable. That's not from being sick. That's from navigating US healthcare.

Okay, okay. It's from being isolated and unwell for so long too. I'll give honors where they are due.

I'm not afraid, not precisely. But I wonder how I will like the person I become out the other side of this.

Not with judgment, not precisely. But I get the sense that 2024 me and 2026 me may well be strangers.

For tonight, at least, I think I can finally rest. Really rest. With hope and a curious sort of wonder for what the coming weeks and months will bring.

It's been a hell of a year. I am inpatient under the eyes of PT, OT, and speech for a couple of days now and can finally breathe enough to feel my stress levels.

Very brief synopsis of April: 9 days in hospital, unsafe discharge to home health PT. Two visits with home health PT had them getting me admitted to skilled nursing facility rehab. Now, sounds possible that SNF may advocate for the acute care across the state.

Vindication feels great, but it resolves nothing.

I have a messy trail of gaslighting, falsified medical records, lazy medical records, and a slew of legal and whatever rights violations, including unsafe discharge with adult services watching and helpless to stop what was happening.

I have a long road to getting function back. I am looking at all of this that I am supposed to file reports, complaints, notifications, and so on about.

Nothing works.

Everyone says someone else is supposed to review and enforce HIPAA violations.

There are a half dozen places to report each thing that was illegal or violated ethics or code.

I'm supposed to request corrections on the creative quote splicer. Correction still left a mess of clinically contradictions that may follow for years. Hospital refused to meet to discuss how to untangle. And that's for the records I have been able to lay hands on.

Reports to the state medical board leave no avenue to know if providers were even counseled on legal rights.

Sick people need to be protected from tunnel vision doctors and closed-loop medical bureaucracy with proprietary policies too precious to be shared with patients. Not about the rights they still cling to the delusion of having.

I finally have a minute to breathe after nine months. The mountain of everything.

I'm alive. I might even recover. What about the next person unlucky enough to need complex healthcare that's carted through those facility doors?

Is there anywhere or anyone at all who helps people in the US tackle the kind of documentation and reporting I'm facing?

Just, you know, now I have a minute to breathe.