American Football has always been kind of a weird band to me, my dad loves them, but even though I have a love for similar bands, I never took the time to get into them. Today I figured I'd take them off my backburner with this new album, and give them a shot.
On Sunday, April 26th at 2:47pm, my grandfather died. He was a jack of all trades, a musician, a carpenter, a family man, and nothing short of an incredible human being. He was, as he would tell you, a piece of shit until about 20 years ago, this being why my mom hadn't had much of a relationship with him up until about 16 years ago. He lived across the entire country (US) from us, so I was only able to really speak with him in person a couple of times up until recently, although we did have a strong relationship despite the fact. After his wife passed away roughly 6 months ago, he decided that he would fly up here to live with us for a month and see how he liked it.
Pulseless Non-Breather is the label they put on him as he was lifted into the ambulance. His body was incredibly frail after beating cancer twice, and getting a triple bypass on his heart. He was also a part of the hippie movement, so that definitely had a part in his passing, but also in his beliefs, as he was a very spiritual man. Unfortunately, after seeing the scan of his lung, he decided that it was best to just pull the plug now instead of risking death in another complicated and lengthy procedure. One of the key things I will never forget is when he'd said that "every other time I felt like I had something to do, but this time, I don't feel that way." His death was made harder when the nurse looking over him asked me if I was "the music grandkid." I'd replied that I was, as I play saxophone and make my own music on the side. She'd then went on about how he talked about me all the time, and said I would do great things. It's amazing how much a single interaction can break you.
I made the grave mistake of listening to this album for the first time in school. The possibility of a song so recent being so personal never dawned on me, which led to many held back tears in the corner of English class. No Feeling, albeit more of a swan song to a suicide, is what my grandfather went through in his death.
There's nothing new to say or do
There's nothing new to crave
Tell the doctors I'm done
The kids, "Adieu"
And Mother, "Désolé".