u/Jaybirdfeathers

(already posted a question before but delited it caus I also didn't get the anserwrs I was looking for
but I think I also didn't ask the right questions)

Heard some people say she's closed some who say she's not and I would rather respect that,the thing however is that I think she'd be the kind of Diety to help me in this case.(I have cousins of mexican origin,but we have not met in a very long time,and its also a distant relative,so by the father's side,very sweet guy,he was the one to teach me english,anyways..) So I did have the intention to reach out because recently my family members,they die very sudden deaths, and its a very frequent occurance. I consider it a very drastic measurment if I do start praying to the holly Death, especially now that
someone said that its a closed practice,I have no intention of appropriating it. I will still ask the questions in case anyone else is wondering,okay?
-So she has indigenous origins but she's a folk catholic Saint,would that mean you'd have to be catholic to pray to her?
-How are you supposed to pray? is there a specific position,tone of voice or structure you should follow?
-I've heard she likes to have her own place and not to share altars with other saints or dieties,would it still be okay to have another diety's altar close to hers?
- I've also read you're supposed to worship her daily, and that her worshippers are a lot of them in everyday life and death situations. Im a bit afraid but not of death but rather that I won't be able to keep up,and give daily offerings and prayers, cause when I get home most times I'm already very tired,so sometimes I pray laying down in the darkness(that's how I've been tought by my grandmother how to pray too but I discovered that that's not always proper or respectfull)
-Do I need permission from the Christian God to worship her? Can I even ask for that permission if I already turned away from that faith?

I think that's it so far...Even if nothing will happen I'd like to learn. I am a bit desprate,cause Idk if I said before but for for years in a row now,every summer started with a funreal for me and my family,its very cruel cause I meet with people I haven't seen in years by now, and We would be so happy that we finally meet again but,at the cost of not seeing someone else in this lifetime anymore. Currently also a relative of mine is in the hospital,after a heart surgery.Im very sorry for dumping all of this here,and even if this isn't the way to solve that,Im happy that I'll be able to learn something new.

Why am I realy afraid? Not because she's the personification of death but because Im so very afraid I can't be a proper devotie. Im the kind of person who when they get home,needs to slop down immidiately into their bed and sleep regardless of what hour I get home,I used to pray laying down before sleep,Im from a christian hausehold and my mom if she'd find any death related thing in my room she'd throw it out and give me a lesson on not to bring this kind of energy into our space,and I get her point,because this is the reason I think I'd need the help from the Lady of the Dead. Recently a lot of my family members been diyng very sudden deaths,and right now a very important person to my mother and my grandmother and for me,is in the hospital and things are not looking that great,he might survive but become dissabled or he might not survive. I feel like this would be a very drastic step to take for me,Im pagan,I have religious trauma,from the time I've spent in a catholic school,I don't have a proper place for an altar that is not shared. If I were to decide to actually start working,how should I? What could I give as rather devotional acts ? What do the color mean? Should I start praying in Spanish when I first pray?(Im not of mexican origins either,I have a distant half me ican relative he was the one to teach me english,so I want to learn spanish too but yeah till I get there I have to learn neurosience for university) Should I just not start praying at all because Im afraid that I cannot keep my side,and its not as drastic and Im being over dramatic? I don't feel that Im over dramatic when every summer starts with a funreal for my family,after a while I started becoming rather angry then sad. Or if someone could,could you please pray in my name?

So,sexual offerings are an odd topic in general cause some people say that its wrong and if I understood them correctly someone said that you can do it but is a closed practice from ancient greece so you'd have to be a part of a cult take that with a sea of salt. While other people go to their altar with a straight face and there's a phalic candle on it wich I later understood that its a normal offering.Im very well aware about bodily fluids being a very wrong thing to offer,but how about maybe you write erroric poetry or a story or draw an explicit thing,would that be considered offensive? also how about learning more about yourself in that way as an offering,for example to discover somethiging tou didn't know about before about your body and stuff like that. So maybe I start writing an errotic novel as a devotional offering would that be accapted?