I am 21F, currently trying to get through college without going insane. I have known this friend of mine for a little over 3 years. We were really close. We used to help each other with our studies, he helped me through my breakup, I helped him through his situationship situation, we used to counsel (or at least try counselling) each other with our family problems, etc. Basically we were quite hard and fast. However, recently the thing which should never come in between friendships came in between ours — money!
He is rich and I mean filthy rich. His father gifted him a luxury car for his 18th birthday. They actually paid extra so that he could get that car in black and this was before he passed his driving test btw. He lives in a literal mansion, his room alone has 2 floors (I didn't even know that was possible). I, on the other hand, come from a modest family. My parents have worked their ass off to give me the pleasures of life that they never got and i am eternally grateful for them. But, to be honest, I would love to know how it feels to spend blind money like my friend. He goes clubbing regularly, splurges on house parties and drinks and flings, buys new clothes every week and he doesn't even think twice before going on expensive trips (he went three times just this month). He doesn't need to worry about his studies or grades or credits because his dad has got everything covered. I haven't been on a single trip in the past 3 or 4 years because I possibly couldn't ask my parents for anymore money than they have already given me.
The thing that really bothers me is that he comes over to me to narrate his tales of adventure, all about the concert, the weed, the clubs, the alcohol, all the "memories" he's making to tell his kids. The FOMO is killing me. The worst part is, he doesn't tell me all of this to make me feel bad, he does it out of pure heart, like you know how a child comes over and tells his mother all about his day at pre school. I get so jealous of my own friend that the guilt starts to eat me up. Hell, the most fun I've had was when I sat in my room with a bunch of friends and chatted about... i don't know, life!? Honest to God, I truly care for him, he is a good friend and it's not his fault he was born into riches. I am just so angry at myself for having these feelings but I can't help it.