u/Jason_Vo0rhees

Rewatched Buffy multiple times now. On s2 ep 22. This has probably been talked about before. Warning that some of my quotes may be slightly misquoted from the episode.

Along with this episode already being insanely creative and one of the harshest and saddest episodes of the early seasons, its also an extremely great gay allegory.

BtVS has always been way ahead of the times with how open they were with sexuality and this is another great example. An earlier example was obviously having an actual gay coming out scene even if it was a bit jokey. But this episode takes the cake to me for the best allegorical example (along with the fact the show already deals with "forbidden" love between vampires and humans.) (And the fact that later on the show has one of the most popular early lesbian couples on tv.)

You can see it in the dialogue between Buffy and Joyce in the whole scene before Joyce tells her to not come back.

Joyce: "Are you sure you're a slayer?"

Joyce: "I mean, have you tried not being a slayer?"

Buffy: "Mom!"

This is the part where I believe the allegory starts. The whole "have you tried not?" part is very reminiscent of sentiments you see where people think you can just turn who you like on and off. Then a little later:

Joyce: "It's because you didn't have a strong father figure, isn't it?"

Buffy: "It's just fate, mom. I'm the Slayer. Accept it."

More humorous in tone obviously but another real thing you hear. Maybe if her father had been around she would've had a good male figure to look up to and admire which would "fix" her Slayer-ing (sexuality)

And then finally before Buffy walks out the door:

Joyce: "Don't you talk to me that way! You don't get to just dump something like this on me and pretend it's nothing!"

...

Joyce: "No! I am tired of 'I don't have time' or 'you wouldn't understand' I am your mother and you will make time to explain yourself!"

Buffy: "I told you. I'm a Vampire Slayer."

Joyce: "Well I don't accept that!"

...

Joyce: "Well it stops now."

Buffy: "It doesn't stop! Do you think I chose to be like this? Do you know how lonely it is? How dangerous? I would love to be upstairs watching TV or gossiping about boys or God, even studying! But I have to save the world. Again."

Joyce: "No this is insane. You need help."

Buffy: "I'm not crazy, mom! What I need is for you to chill. I'll be back."

...

Joyce: "You walk out of this house, don't even think about coming back."

One of the more heartbreaking episodes of the series. Seeing Buffy be wholy unaccepted for who she is by her own mother is completely devastating. We see that Buffy struggles with the idea of people knowing her secret early on in the series and accepting who she is. And then in this season she does a bit better with the idea of the Slayer, she gets to meet another girl just like her and she slowly starts accepting the fact that this is her life. She has a family that understands her and accepts her. Then her mother finally finds out her big secret and completely blows up which adds fuel to Buffy's fear. It confirms that she was right to be scared of what her mother would think. Even though Joyce accepts Buffy as the Slayer later on it still hurts. And is very reminiscent of how you see parents having to "accept" that their child is gay. I know this isn't perfect since being a Slayer actually does affect Joyce's life but it is extremely close.

It is so insane to go back and watch a show like Buffy or Twin Peaks and see how progressive they can be as the big Hallmarks of sci fi/supernatural TV or just TV in general vs the thoughts the (hateful) general public held at the time. Knowing that it would still be over a decade before a show like Glee would help lighten the (hateful) general publics view of homosexuality. And it still wasn't until that show was off air that gay marriage was fully legalized nationwide in America. I know this is ranty but it feels nice to know that there were shows like this to help ease the minds of people at the time who may have been struggling with their sexuality.

I understand this is supposed to be an important event in Buffy's progression as The Slayer. I understand its a hot topic. I understand I may be in the minority.

I do not think Buffy did anything actually really wrong in this episode

I do not care that Buffy danced with Xander, I don't care that she was a bitca in this episode, and I don't care that she didn't really speak to anyone over the summer.

Buffy is the most important person in this town. All of the responsibility of saving these people's lives is almost singlehandedly placed on her. In almost every altercation thus far she has had to pause her fight in order to save Willow or Xander or Giles and it always ends up making the fights last 30 minutes longer than they would actually need to. She has saved them countless times. By all logic, it would've been both smarter AND faster for her to go alone even if it was a trap for her. And unless I'm missing something there was no way the vampires could've known that Buffy was going to go alone, which was a sudden change from her normal where she brings literally everyone with her. This is the beginning of the moronic annoying plots that are used to make Buffy a "bad" person so she's not this perfect saintly figure but to me it always falls short throughout the whole series.

Xander saying he will kill Buffy if Willow is hurt is annoying for several reasons. 1: I understand he was just angry but genuinely how would he manage to kill her. 2: it was a MISTAKE that no one could've predicted and even if Buffy HAD stayed the vampires STILL would've attacked and there would've been NO way for her to protect all three of them at the same time. 3: this is seemingly the first time Buffy has "messed up" in the series unless I'm misremembering and it instantly earns her scrutiny. Again she has saved them several times and she has one stroke of anger or annoyance and all of a sudden she's a villain. This 16 year old girl who has been sprung into a new life and has to live it in secret stops showing just a little bit of complacency and now she's some new bitchy person who they think is possessed.

Ignoring the fact she has to be sexually harassed by Xander almost every episode. Xander LITERALLY does the same thing that Buffy does by dancing with him to Willow in literally the same episode. He almost kissed Willow and is flirty and was probably flirty throughout the whole summer while Buffy was gone. And then she shows up and he basically ignores Willow. He is the last person to be frustrated. I don't even really consider the hot dancing leading him on honestly. If anything, I think what she did was healthy for her. Her only idea of Xander is him constantly trying to ask her out. She probably sensed that he peeped at her in her bedroom. And so far her only frame of reference for a sexual experience is hyena him almost raping her on school grounds. It makes perfect sense that on top of her being unattracted to him she would be extra standoffish towards him after that. So her dancing with him helped repair that bond that he broke in the first place, even if it wasn't his fault. (This probably wasn't the intention while writing the show)

Her being mean to Angel is valid. He is a grown 240 year old vampire who murdered hundreds of thousands of people in his lifetime and he gets a little upset over the words his 16 year old girlfriend says to him? He needs to grow up and get over it. He of all people should understand where her frustration lies and why she might be battling with the fact that she died. Especially since he's the one who has been mysteriously telling her about The Master in the first place.

I do like that he apologizes in the next episode.

And she still ultimately saves the Scoobies in the end btw.

I think they are allowed to be frustrated and I think their private conversations of concern were somewhat okay, but past that I think they all should've understood where she was coming from better.