It is days like these i miss you and our relationship the most.
The days where we have nothing planned and the weather is nice.
The days were sitting in a park or by the beach for a few hours would make the entire week good.
The days were i wasn't ashamed of being goofy with you.
The days were it was only you and me against the world
It's the days like these when i really realise that you are gone
I wished you just showed up in my life randomly again like that thursday night, and again on that easter monday, so that we could talk. I have so much to tell you and ask you.
Im worried that you are not letting yourself get better. It hurts seeing you do the same misstakes you did before we met. Seeing multiple people at the same time, jumping from person to person. You have said it before that it wasn't healthy, but you do it because you are afraid of beeing alone.
I hope you acctually let yourself grief now, and can let yourself heal and be better. Otherwise you are going to continue with half serious commitment and continue hurting the people around you
I want to be there for you and i want to be with you, but going no contact is for me to get better.
You hurt me so much and im sorry that i can't forgive you, and I know i hurt you too, and im trying to let my actions show how sorry i am and that i want to change, i want to be better.
But do know, i still love you my River, and i wish and hope we can find eachother again on a random thursday, once we both have healed. Then maybe we can become what once was, or just friends again.