Is there any hope for me to transform and get an academic comeback?
I’m 2nd year physics student, who used to excel at my studies in high school without even trying much. In high school, I never been one to study everyday or revise, if I have a test or a quiz? I simply study before it a day before or a few hours before the test. This included even finals, no matter the subject, yet thankfully, I still got all A’s. I remember when I became a 1st year in college, I understood that what I used to do before cannot be applied here. Later on, as I settled in with a roommate I just simply couldn’t sleep. Me and roommates became friends, close friends even but I simply couldn’t sleep, I’m someone who can’t sleep with anyone in the same room. No matter if we were friends, family, or whatever. My body was always in high alert. I spent 1 year and a half in that state. I never took naps, not even for 10 minutes even. My body would stay awake for 24 hours or even a bit more and THEN I’d sleep. I’d always sleep for 3-4 hours. And sometimes even 1 hour. You’d think I look tired, but no. I never did, I always had energy and I maintained to function normally. All that with no caffeine at all. People were always surprised to know that I’m functioning normally like anyone else with no sleep. Yet when they even sleep for 5 hours, they struggle with going on about their day. Anyway, during my 1st year, I was performing terribly in most of my courses that required more brain energy, I even failed in Calculus 1 like 3 times. Imagine, a physics student struggling at such a fundamental course. To be honest, the only reason I was performing bad was because of procrastination. I barely studied, I couldn’t even force myself to study. Yes, sure, months later I started to suffer from foggy memories from the long periods of lack in sleep. It was so bad that as I chat with others, I forget what I’m saying mid sentence and when I get reminded by others, I’d forge again. Finally after 1 and half year, I started to sleep more than I used to. And most importantly, I was finally able to take power up naps. But the impact the year had on was still lingering in my system, my memory improved but it still wasn’t the best. I still tend to forget a lot, but it way better than having memory fog episodes mid speaking or listening. I find myself to struggle greatly regarding procrastination to the point I no longer feel sense of alertness even if I have final exam the same day, and I haven’t studied for. I think such numbness was born because of how long my body was in survival mode, that it eventually shut off as a way for my brain to protect itself. I’m currently struggling with courses such as Calculus 2. I keep on performing bad because I’m simply not even studying, I barely study for it. I keep on thinking about studying but I never do. Not even for 5 minutes to trick my brain to continue. Trust me, I really loving learning and I’m always fascinated by physics. I love my major deeply yet I find myself struggling to go back to how I used to. I have finals in 1st of May and I’m honestly way behind 2 courses, including calculus 2. I feel like I genuinely have no idea about the material of that course. I already performed really terribly in this course and to get a passing grade, I genuinely need a FULL mark in the final exam. If I fail that course, I’ll immediately get an academic warning and I can’t afford to put myself in that situation. I need honest advice, tricks, methods, whatever…
I’ll post this in another subreddit as well. If you made it this far, thank you so much.