Had a relapse about a week ago that was following a relapse about a month and and a half ago. After coming clean for this most recent relapse I’m just feeling more ashamed than before I came clean. I know it is an important part of the process and I am still glad I did it but I feel heavier instead of lighter. Has anyone experienced this before? Any tips?
6 days clean, next stop 7 days.
I know I need to come clean to her again but it odd just so hard when it happened twice in a row. I asked for daily check ins so I would have to say out loud “I did not gamble today” but they never really happened because we are busy with a new baby. I know it is my responsibility to make them happen now and to talk about this release but I feel so bad for letting her down and letting my family down. Had to take out a personal loan and I’m hoping that having that payment every month for the next five years also serves as a reminder of why I need to not gamble. Therapy was helping before the relapses but got put in hold because of life.
Just feeling so defeated and ashamed. I think I need to just be a no phone person because I can’t be trusted with the internet