I'm sure nobody keeps track of this but I'm gay, I've posted my lonely woes here before.
My friend has been seeing this girl who's somehow from the exact same weird ethnic and cultural background that he is. He's funny, hes smart, he's good looking. He treats me so well at every turn. I constantly feel lonely because lesbians just don't exist. I've hit a point in my life where I won't even date to feel the comfort of another, even next to someone who touches me and smiles at me I feel alone. But I clicked with the girl he's been seeing so well. We'd get drunk and peck each other on the cheek usually, and each time I'd tell myself I need to stop being around her for my friends sake. I just can't stand this hole inside of me anymore, no matter what I do I feel alone. I'm going to tell him what happened, but the worst feeling is knowing he'd forgive me and hate himself. He wanted this relationship to work so badly he would talk about her like a schoolboy whenever we'd talk. I hate everything I wish she would touch him instead of me. Anytime anyone ever touches me it's never without consequence.
Feel free to call me heartless.