
OPINION: I no longer weep for the Geparded
DELULUCITY, 12 MAY 2026 — I just saw a post of Gepard and Phainon in the same fanart and came to a revelation that I must now share.
It refers to both of these men as “protectors." A excellent and trustworthy academic source.
It has come to my attention that these two characters have one thing in common. Now, before we make that discussion…
Many of us commonly agree that Phainon and Dan Heng are yearners. It is community consensus.
now.
hear.
me.
out:
Gepard. GEPARD.
OUR BOY. GEPARD.
CAPTAIN OF THE SILVERMANE GUARDS. SELFLESS. WONDERFUL. GETS FLUSTERED YET STANDS HIS GROUND FOR THE SAKE OF BELOBOG.
GEPARD IS A YEARNER.
👩⚖️ ORDER. ORDER.
DAN HENG. HAS. BLUE. EYES.
I DO NOT DISCRIMINATE. TEAL? NOPE. IT'S BLUE.
You know why. Refer to our first encounter with him.
PHAINON. BLUE. EYES.
Devastatingly so. Burning sun (of love and yearn).
Eyes filled with pain and hope for tomorrow.
GEPARD. HAS. BLUE. EYES.
Fighting for a day when Belobog will be free from the freezing cold.
When he blushes: red face and blue eyes. Always chef's kiss. Always.
BLUE BLUE BLUE BLUE BLUE. Do you see the pattern? Can't be a coincidence.
THEREFORE.
GEPARD MUST JOIN THE YEARNER FACTION.
Pros of officially adding him to the Yearner Roster™:
Belobog gets a yearner. Every nation needs a yearner.
More delusion.
Alleviated pain when losing the 50/50.
Cons of officially adding him to the Yearner Roster™:
You get nosebleeds if he proposes.
You die in peace.
CASE CLOSED.