Hi
I (45F) will try to keep this as factual as I can and not ramble. I am really struggling with work and life. Without going into all the details, i am worried (as is my long term partner of nearly 20 years) that I am headed for a break down because of my job. It is not the work, it is my ability to understand and complete it effectively, i work loads of hours often into the night and still achieve far less than my colleagues ( I am an academic). I have many of the symptoms of ADHD and autism, my wife who was a senco is convinced I'm audhd and this is contributing to my ability to "function". My 3 year old (genetically my child) is currently on the wait list for an nhs autism assessment (camhs and the portage specialist suggested we pursue this), and honestly watching him is like a mirror has been held up to me.
Here is the issue. I really don't if it is Adhd or autism. I am diagnosed with dyslexia and have a history of anxiety & depression, maybe that explains eveything? As a child i did not have difficulties in school i was well behaved and got good grades (we were punished if we received grades below "A" but that's another story). I have always been increadily disorganised and stuggled with tine keepin, oh and anxiety from a young age. Both my parents are alive, my Dad wouldn't be able to comment he wasn't around much when I was younger and he really struggles to understand some social cues and context so either woulnd't remember or wouldn't have seen differences (i think he went for an autism assessment some years ago as Step mum said he'd told her he was autistic but hasn't told me). My mother would not be helpful. My sister went for an autism assessment as her child was diagnosed aged 2 with ASD and my mother outright lied to the assessor about my sister's childhood. My sister is deeply upset about this but has made her peace (outcome of her assessment was autistic traits but as no childhood history didn't fix the diagnostic criteria). My sister would be willing to fill in the childhood questionnaire for me.
I hoping to understand myself better (I guess) and think maybe being assessed for ADHD and autism could be helpful. I could pay privately for these. Is there a downside to going for either, other than paying out the money? Thanks for reading.