Cried during an OT check-up call when they said 'I know you just want a shower' (sorry kind of long)
I don't really know if this is the right place to post this/seek advice, but the community here is always welcoming from what I've seen. I'm kind of frustrated and a little bit embarrassed I just started crying on the phone lol... Sorry if it's not right! </3
Backstory is, I have a few conditions, main ones being C-PTSD and Fibromyalgia, not very fun combo! After a few years waiting, council offers me a bungalow and it's really good! Except the bath is bizarrely high and I've never really done well with baths, but it's got an overhead shower. Family encourages me to seek out an OT appointment, so I do. An OT comes out, sees me getting in and out of the shower and puts in a sort of plank chair. That plan falls through, and honestly using it kind of hurt my legs, but I was too scared to say anything at the time.
2nd visit, she puts in one of those swivel chairs. Again it's not really comfortable, and my bath being weirdly high while I'm grossly short is really uncomfortable, so I tell her 'It's not really comfortable, but I'll try anything for a while and update you?' and she agrees. She calls me a while later, today, asking how it is and instantly starts off the call saying she's closing the case, so I end up explaining it's not really good, it hurts to use and it's at the point now where it takes up so much space in the bath tub, I've just started avoiding it all together, it's really uncomfortable to get in and out of and it's especially difficult getting out of it since my bath being high means I have to basically shuffle out and then do a weird little hop. She tells me she's still closing the case because in our appointment at my house, she saw me using it, and tells me to use it since it's there to make my life easier, then follows up with that 'I know you just want a shower, but I have to go off what I saw' which really upset me for some reason. It kind of hurt, since I'm not exaggerating anything, but it felt like that was how it came across?
I know it's frustrating for them probably, they're seeing a 23 year old who apparently can't even use a chair, which I promise is even more frustrating for me, but now I don't know what to do. I was told I'll get a letter saying the case is closed and resolved, and I just... have a massive chair in my bathtub now? The woman was nice, remembered stuff, though at one point she referred to a brown person as 'those people' when recounting a story which made me kind of double-take so 😭 I'm just embarrassed, overwhelmed, and basically bathing out of my sink now which is just as embarrassing to admit as it is probably gross to read. Any advice on where I go from here would be appreciated, I don't want to cause problems but my friends keep reminding me I probably deserve better than living off dry shampoo and baby wipes, and anyone sharing a room with me is probably inclined to agree!