trouble teaching recently
it suddenly feels like i dont have the words to explain anything, i still understand the content thankful for that but its like i lost my ability to see the material from the students eyes. i feel like i carry an anxious and confused tone as a result and that it disconcerts the kids. idkkk im probably overthinking it at this point.
as i thought about this further ive realized the problem is that i havent LEARNED anything in so long. ive forgotten how to tap into that energy of good teaching. watching some lectures will probably fix this
also, im having trouble understanding this but after i graduated from college, where i completed an amazing amazing program that gave me great perspective and understanding, i suddenly decided that academia was rotten, that education makes people out of touch,
i dont know how to reconcile these different truths, that i had difficulties in the school system and college due to inequalities that felt at times humiliating and painful, AND that im grateful for my incredible teachers and professors and what i have learned in every class room throughout my life
because of the hardships i encountered in the past i feel like a sucker when i seek education or provide education, i feel like its only helping encourage divides between social classes, differently abled people
super existential, i probably can't teach right bc all this is floating in my head. idk the answer.
TLDR
want the best for the kids, ik tht school wasnt always the best for me, overwhelmed with the idea of them going through similar things