Hi I am going through some tough times, feeling a bit suffocated at home, any places where I can sit peacefully at night and let my thoughts pass by. Also any food I can try at night.
Thank you!!
In that rosebush where I grew up, in that home that laid foundation what I was set to be up for, of love, my furry brother, who is my forever companion, in light and out. I remember growing up there, I remember hearing distant sounds of little humming birds bathing in sun, my dear friends calling me out to play that game, the cows and buffalows, that temple on the uphill with snakes around, the man on the street who was called insane but was so kind to me and called me son, and gave me a ruppee to buy a candy whenever he could, I miss him too often, I can't recall much.
I hesitate to go back to that place, I avoid being asked what I plan to do?,, I am afraid to ask them to not be ignorant, to let me be wrecked for a while, so I can grow flowers out of myself, to let me be a failure for while and not ask to justy it. I know it's too much to ask and maybe i am not keen in asking anymore, I am too fluent in silence, it's in my very depth, it has been in every freckles of my tamed smile.
It starts somewhere in a bright spring day, when everything is so lilac green and the winds are light but a darkness surrounds your throat and for the rest of the life you yearn for a breath that does not choke you.
Not a casual post*
I've been seeing this girl for over a month now, We meet on Bumble and decide to see each other. She has never dated anyone before. We have been to 4 dates till now, everything seems go well on the dates, although she seems to be really cautious and I try to respect that. But she frequently takes 24 hrs-36 hrs to reply to my texts, I don't know if this is intentional or that she is just a bad texter, initially she texted a lot but since the first date the texts have been very infrequent, so much so that I avoid texting her cause the reply time started making me anxious.
She has already stated that we will be going to many more dates, I already feel myself falling for her a lil bit, and I am afraid to fall for someone who is giving me mix signals. I don't know what to do, if any girls here can comment and help me assess if this might be a trick or is she testing me or I'm just delusional and should not expect much from this scenario. Thank you
I have been struggling with a lot of things since past few years, it's occasional, periodical but it's quite destructive kind of sadness, I tend to make my life miserable when I am hit with this constant sadness.
I was doing my masters in Germany, where I used to see a therapist and a psychiatrist who diagnosed me with severe depression also stated that this could be something that is genetic.
I have avoided seeing a therapist since than, and even though I'm not in a very bad state right now, I'm pretty much useless, I need to know what's causing this. Do you guys have any references on therapist or psychiatrist or idk any professionals that could with this.
I was a really ambitious kid, I wanted to do so many things with my life. But now I'm 24, my parents have exhausted their life savings for my education and I flunked, I have nothing to show, no work ex, and I'm good for nothing, I have no skills, I fail at everything that I try, I can't even try anymore. I had so much opportunities, but I always felt messed up, afraid, sad and hopeless, I tried all the things in the world, therapy, talking to people, God, excersing, nothing ever made me feel alright.
I feel so ashamed, I hide from people, afraid that they'll ask me the unforgiving questions. I am tired of myself and I find no solace in any words or God or anything at all, I cannot find a place or person or a shade that will let me rest for a while and catch my breath.
This is not me reaching out for help, or looking for a crispy realization through a suggestion or any wisdom. This is me looking for a place where I can admit my defeats, where I can say the kid I was, was so naive, and in somwhere between I forgot to grow up. I feel like a stone paperweight. It feels like a downhill battle, and I refuse to try anymore. I am afraid I'll live my rest of my life in regrets of what could I have been.