I’m an assistant principal at a middle school and trying to think critically about what strong, sustainable leadership looks like as I grow in my role, especially as a working mom.
I’m currently working under a principal who has a very “work longer” mindset. She regularly stays until 5:30+, talks about how much she’s doing, and seems to equate time in the building with commitment. School ends at 2:35.
For context, I typically start around 7:00–7:15 AM, work straight through (no real lunch), and leave at 3:20 to pick up my son. This has been consistent and known. By that time, bus routes are complete and my responsibilities for the day are done. I’m always available by phone/email and responsive if anything comes up.
Where I’m struggling is the tension between:
- a leadership culture that seems to value long hours and visibility
- and what feels like a more sustainable, outcome-based approach
About once a month, there’s a pattern where concerns come up about whether enough is getting done, who is doing more, and how overwhelmed things feel. It often turns into after-hours communication and a general sense that people aren’t doing enough, which can make the environment feel reactive rather than structured.
As a working mom, this is where I start to feel the long-term strain. I’m committed to my role and to growing into a principal position, but I also want to build a career that is sustainable, not one that depends on constant overextension to be seen as effective.
A few tensions I’m trying to navigate:
- Being measured on time/visibility vs. outcomes
- Wanting to lead and support effectively, but not always having clear ownership or authority
- Balancing family responsibilities with expectations that lean toward extended hours
- Maintaining sustainability for myself and what feels like a broader team dynamic
For those of you in management/leadership roles (especially those who have led teams with working parents):
- How do you think about time vs. outcomes when evaluating your leadership team?
- Do you see a “work longer” culture as typical in leadership roles, or as a burnout risk?
- How do you create accountability and visibility without relying on extended hours?
- What advice would you give me as someone trying to grow professionally while also maintaining realistic boundaries as a parent?
I’m trying to learn from this experience and better understand what healthy, effective leadership looks like long-term.
Appreciate any perspective.