Posting in this sub for advice.
I’m a long-term Vyvanse user - I have been prescribed this drug for 17 years, starting in early adolescence. I was wary from the beginning, but submitted to the idea after years of struggling with the inattentive presentation of ADHD.
In 2022, I raised my dose from 20mg to 30mg, having felt for awhile that I wasn’t as motivated and focused on my career path as I’d like to be.
Since that time, there have been pros and cons to raising my dose.
Best of it: Increased ambition, creativity, problem-solving. Markedly improved ability to focus. I instinctually planned ahead, could organize my schedule, arrive on time to work, listen when being spoken to, retain information effortlessly, remember to reply to text messages. Feel effortlessly sharp.
Worst of it: Developed an almost comically bad vaping addiction (which I’ve managed to quit), impulsivity, worsened social anxiety, irrationality and paranoia, rumination, serious loss of appetite and difficulty maintaining a healthy weight, isolating socially. As of this year, Apple Watch had been notifying me that tachycardia is a thing for me now, apparently.
On the days I try to take breaks, I feel exhausted, depressed, and listless. Honestly, I almost feel as though I have dementia. It’s very clear to me that the drug helps me focus on and execute tasks, feel excited to take life on. Either that, or the contrast of being off of the drug (foggy, slow, depressed, poor memory) gives me that illusion.
I’m at a point in my life where I almost do not know who I am without it, as I started Vyvanse as a teenager, and I’m a year away from turning 30 now. However, during the shortage a bit ago, I got a taste of what it was like to go off of it cold turkey — not good at all. I also wonder if I feel so negatively about it due to being on the generic (allegedly not as good as name brand, and I think I agree with that sentiment).
So - am I completely cooked? Do I just need a break?
I also take Lexapro and wonder if there’s a possible interaction, but my psych has deemed it safe. If anyone has suggestions re: antidepressants that work well with this drug, please also feel free to mention.
All insight and advice would really be appreciated.