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Hello guys, here I am with a heavy heart and shaking fingers.
I have done what no one should do, yet what everyone does.
I’m afraid I have developed feelings for my friend —and the worst part is, I don’t even know what. I’m not sure if this is an attachment issue or something else.
Now, there’s one test I usually do when I start developing feelings for someone: the three-month test. I keep behaving normally for three months, and generally my feelings or crush fade away, and everything goes back to normal.
But this time, it’s been over four months, and the feeling is not going away.
The thing is, I don’t know if the signs are really there or if I’m just overcomplicating things.
Signs that make me wonder:
She says she wants someone to ask her out on a date. Of course, I don’t ask her directly, but we do go out and spend the whole day together, just the two of us.
We stopped inviting our other friends. She even said she doesn’t care if others come or not, as long as I’m there.
She shares almost every small detail of her life with me.
She gets jealous if I mention other girls, subtly asking who they are while pretending not to care.
5.The three-hour calls.
One more thing I noticed sometimes will deliberately ignore her texts and reels as to show I don't care which is very normal among friends I know you all don't even watch your friends reels the thing is this shouldn't bother her but it does she also out of a sudden stops sending reels and even stops replying to my reels I know she is on the app because I can see her liked reels.
Man I think I'm overthinking
But then there are signs that make me doubt:
She mentions one guy (not me—she says his name) and admits she’s scared he might like her, but she wants to keep him as a friend.
At the same time, she says if he likes her, he should confess.
Yet she also says she doesn’t like him, she just enjoys talking to him. 😭
Whenever she mentions that guy, my heart sinks and my hands shake. And honestly, it shouldn’t—because who am I to feel this way?
❌**Deadlock**❌
Now I’m stuck in a deadlock. I can’t confess to her because I treasure her too much and don’t want to lose her as a friend. But I also can’t stop talking to her, because she’ll notice something is wrong and maybe figure out my feelings.
Isn’t there some way to go back to just friends?
I’ve never felt this confused, never felt this anxious over someone. I keep checking my phone for her texts. A single reel from her can make—or ruin—my day. I don’t want someone to have this kind of power over me. I used to be such a chill guy, the one who thought I’d never do this or that over a girl. Now I’m literally having mood swings.
This post is getting too long. There will be a second part where I’ll evaluate my feelings—what makes me feel normal, and what makes me feel bad.