u/Idkhowtoredditplzhlp

I'm loving every minute of trying to be healthy. I've made a lot of diet changes and I exercise every day.

For the time being, I absolutely love that my heart has to work hard to get me through my workouts. I'll get more intensity in a shorter amount of time.

I know there will come a day when I have to work harder to get the same results from my exercise. So for now, I'm finding joy in every part of the journey - not in being obese, but in the way my bodyweight is acting like a tool to help me.

Last night, I was out of chamomile tea, so I had a cup of valerian root with lemon balm instead.

What followed was the worst dream I've ever had in my life. I woke up sobbing.

Context: My mom passed away from complications of metastatic breast cancer on December 7th, 2022. She went to the East Coast for a clinical trial and it killed her. I've dreamed about her before, but it's always been pleasant.

In my dream, we were in a house - she and I were on the floor and I was holding her. She was dying and so I sang to her as she "passed" but she hadn't actually passed yet. She wound up soiling herself. I went to go get her nurse from the living room for help. She said she wanted to get in the shower and clean herself up. While I ran to go and get her nurse for help, she had fallen in the shower.

I ran in there and she was trying to crawl towards me and she was screaming and crying because her artwork was crumbling (she was an artist) and there were all of these ceramic pieces that were falling to the floor and shattering all around.

I was begging the nurse to save her and screaming "do something, I know she's going to die tonight!"

Then the alarm woke me up. It was the worst I've felt since she passed away. It took me a solid 15 minutes to ground myself.

I threw the rest of the tea away.

I've started the journey. I've downloaded the calorie tracking app and decided it's time to start.

It's difficult because my husband is supportive of me making changes, but he's not interested at all himself. I've had breakfast, lunch, and dinner every day.

What do you do when you're used to sharing meals with your spouse and now you're eating different meals at different times? It's really hard because he was having chili cheese dogs (one of my comfort meals) and I chose to have a chicken sausage with coleslaw and chickpeas instead.

I'm not going to force him to make any changes, but I feel like when he sees how much progress I'm making, he'll become more invested too.

I guess it's just a waiting game. Is anyone else in this type of situation?

In an effort to actively track what I'm putting into my body, I've started paying attention to portion sizes. I was doing food delivery service this morning and picked up an order from a donut shop. I made a passive comment to the cashier...something like "Oh my gosh, these all look so good but I can't have this much dough and sugar anymore"

The guy proceeds to give me the customers order and a bag FULL of donut holes. Like 25 donut holes. I took it to be polite because I knew they would go in the garbage shortly. It's almost past donut time for them.

I had 3...that's it. It gave my brain the sugar boost I craved after cutting out soda over the last week or two. I took the rest to my husband at work so he could share with his coworkers or whatever.

What really gets to me out of all this is that 25 donut holes used to feel like a "normal" portion and something I've seen people have just on a regular basis. No wonder it's so hard to be healthy and everything is so expensive when most people I observe are having 3-5 "portions" and think that it's something meant for one person.

Edit to add: not shaming anyone who would enjoy the donut holes. I just was so surprised in trying to lose weight how much is actually offered on a regular basis - not just donut holes, but everything.

I weigh 375lbs. For years I've fantasized about being able to move my body and feel good, not be winded, and ride fair rides with my family. I'm tired of avoiding certain places or activities that aren't fat people friendly.

I've tried off and on to get an hour of exercise a day, I've switched to a Mediterranean diet, and I've drank teas and stuff but none of it seems to fit into my lifestyle.

How do you just "start" one day and decide to be healthier? I'm struggling. I'm only 27 and I haven't been able to have kids and I know if I go to a doctor, the first thing they're going to tell me is lose weight and I want my issues to be taken seriously.

There are so many reasons for me to start, but it's just taking the leap...I feel like I need help from a doctor or physical trainer, but I can't afford it...

I don't know what to do. There's a lot to digest here, but I guess I'm wondering - what helped y'all get started? What keeps you going when it's hard?