How should I fix my insecurities within my relationship
I’m someone who has never been a relationship solely on finding someone who God has for me. Im waiting till marriage and have prayed about who I want my future husband to be. I date to marry. I finally got into my first relationship who he has met my family. Thing is he perfect with me but the one thing is, before he gave his life to God he had a past. Slept with a very high amount of woman and the woman I know of are much older than I am and very extremely beautiful, like yk theirs a difference from a celebrities hotness and your neighbor. He respects me and has the same morals as me now but, he is very good looking and the woman around him/ he interacts with, all show they want him and want to sleep with him. I keep dreaming of him cheating and of other woman messaging him and him liking it and wanting to flirt back. Like all the negatives of cheating . Why choose a “good girl” like me, I’m sure all men want that but it’s worrying me.
I prayed if he’s going to cheat for God to show me and get out of this relationship before it’s too late. I love him and I know he loves me but with three older brothers and how they think and who they been with, how do I get past the fact that this baddie could prey on him for weeks and then he gives in just like my brothers have and other men I hear about who have done the same. I’m not ugly but it’s like I’m not as insanely attractive as people who want my bf. His past with sleeping with other woman, what if he can’t deal with the factor of waiting till marriage and cheats. I’m insanely having so much anxiety and it hurts that I compare myself so much. Why me? Why would this beautiful man want me compared to the other woman. I take pride in how much I respect myself and how any man who’d ever be with me would never have to worry. My social media is non existent and my daily life is future focused and
work, gym and my social life is 3 people for the last 10 years. I don’t give reasons to feel worried but that’s also kinda rude of me to say. Either way. I love him, I want to be with him till God says it’s right to marry. Okay lowkey idk what’s wrong with me. I should probably stop writing haha