u/Icy_Effective1308

I feel so down. Today is the worst, i called in sick from work.

A few years back, i was abroad in a foreign country and wtnessed a crime take place but i did not do anything to prevent it. I was a bystander.

I could have done something but i did nothing..... Absolutely nothing. I don't know what i was thinking! Maybe it was due to fear, or confusion, but i was a coward. I hate myself for being so useless.

Ever since then i have felt guilt. So much! I was bedridden by guilt at first but then few months later recoverd mentally.

I think about it everyday of my life and hate myself for this everyday. Thinking about this makes me depressed. Sometimes i think about just ending it all. A useless person like me has no value.

This happened three years ago. This will always be a humble reminder for me. May Allah forgive us all. I don't expect everyone to believe me, but this is my story.

I remember there was a Youtube video, and there was a discussion about someone's past and how someone should react to it.

I replied in the comment section. I remember i judged a woman harshly with a past. The comment itself was not "wrong". But my comment screamed pride, and gave strong ego vibes. The comment got a lot of likes and replies.

A few days later i got into an unfortunate situation that changed my whole life. Till this day i remeber what i commented, said and showed off.

I beg for Allah's forgivness everyday and will never ever act better than another muslim. Ever!