u/IcyOwl3038

I’m 21 and just had my first pap today. For context I’m not a virgin and have been naked in front of SOs once I got comfortable with them. I had my anxiety going in but ultimately felt ready when I made the appointment. I got to talk to my older sisters about their first times and was reassured. When I got there I was a little more nervous but still felt okay. She started the breast exam and I felt my strong facade slowly fading. Long story short I started crying during the breast exam and throughout my whole pap. I wasn’t in any pain and my doctor was super sweet about it. They even had a medical assistant in the room for comfort. I can’t even tell you why I started crying. I’ve had my reservations about the way my labia looks but have been working hard this past year to deal with that insecurity. I’m not sure if it was just the feeling of being so vulnerable and out of control. Having trust issues, fear of judgement, built up anxiety/stress or just being uncomfortable with the situation? I feel so embarrassed. I’ve cried before going under for surgery and having medical procedures like the Nexplanon implant done and I just never know why. Is it the fear of the unknown? Having to be vulnerable around a stranger even though they are a medical professional? I can just never seem to stop the tears.