Soo for context I was in a long term situationship with a guy who kinda dated my bestfriend in between while we were together and I still stayed because he provided me with the right attention I needed and i was head over heels over him. Though he claimed to like my bestfriend but clearly we were more compatible being on calls at all hours and mostly other preferences same tooo he was like a same person as me but in another form. Soo we were together in this situation for like 3 years thinking he would eventually be in love w me someday. Now we came in a long distance situation and ended our thing. Turns out he was cheating with me w his girl bestfriend and confessed everything to my best friend (whom he liked) and they got together couple of months later and i completely cut off with this guy and they were together for 2 years until we met again because our friend group is same and I couldn’t hold the grudge anymore . Soo we came close again and got a little cozy last summer. The guilt ate me up to do this my best friend so i finally told her couple of months later and they broke up and i haven’t talked to her since. We hooked up after (again guilty).
Now coming to present i started talking to this guy in year end turns out he already had a thing going on with a girl (long distance as well) and they are not physically active because the girl prefers it that way. I tried maintaining distance a couple of months. Finally my whoremones gave up and we madeout.
Again fucked up my integrity.