EDIT i overreacted but will keep this up incase people give more good advice which will help people with similar feelings. In addition this might happen to me again and I would love any tips with dealing with these feelings anyone has found helpful!
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original post: i am trying to enjoy where i am to put my mind off it and i thought i was so close but now im realizing im again turning into the bad person id become if i stayed at this school. chasing money fitting in work work work corporate culture. i dont want to be a fake human and being here causes a crisis of identity i either feel guilt or i ignore it and after 2weeks turn into bad person, then realize it and feel guilt again and longing to leave. like rn
college is such an important time in development of my brain and i cant let it be shaped like this for the rest of my life. brown culture just fits who i am. full of gentle love, art, pure joy, uniqueness, and love of learning and will reinforce these great qualities which make me love myself so much that i hold onto so tightly.
i am full pay i am from a great school i have a great gpa im involved at school i wrote decent essays i showed interest im unique i have great relationships with my recommenders i have some hooks and i did the video but its still such a low chance i get in
any way to get rid of this feeling?