I’m thinking about it
I’ve been thinking lately, thinking about how far I’ve come as a person, and yet I’m still behind. I barely had a car, which broke, I can’t get it fixed unless I ball out with $1,500, so I’m basically fucked on that front. My family thinks they fucking care or some shit, so they lend me a car for a couple months while I’m trying desperately to get this other car inspected and road legal, and then take it away before the promised deadline. They’re abusive, manipulative, conniving pieces of shit. The only good people in my family are my siblings, as they actually are about me. They think I don’t achieve anything, believing that I’m introverted and that I stay away from my coworkers, which in turn makes them think I am not an achiever. I am one of the best employees at one of the best places I’ve ever worked, and they still have a way to drag me down. I’m tired of this shit man, I constantly make excuses for why I don’t do better, but I know it’s because I’m a fat fucking lazy piece of shit, and if that gets my post removed, the so be it. I really needed to get all this self loathing out, to show other people what I truly fucking think, but either way, I am NOT going to kill myself, I swore to it years ago, and god be damned if I go back on that. Thanks to anyone that read, you’re awesome, and you’ll do fucking amazing things if you put your mind to it lol. A little more before I leave, they also get pissed at me when my trauma response of lying goes off, and then scream at me, which is why I have that trauma response lmao. I also can’t fucking see my sister apparently? They think she’s “manipulative” just like my mother “was”, but it’s just some grade A bull fucking shit. Love yall, I’ll be fine, I have to be, but hope anyone who’s reading this is okay. Thanks for letting me get these horrible thoughts out of my head