u/Iamawitchimabitch

I have to take 2 500mg of these a day today is the second day and last night I felt Like I was losing my mind it felt kind of like the come down of MD? And I had strong bursts of “yes let’s do this new project” and the staring at the wall and getting close to ego death for some reason.. what the actual fuck is happening. I’m taking it because there is like 8 lumps on my neck (I have an ultra sound tommorow and a check up next week) but I have to take these caps everyday for TEN DAYS and I was also shaking and getting a fever. Dude what the fuck is happening

Now I know it is queer and that’s what I thought I was watching going into it. Because I’m currently questioning my gender (I’m afab) so I thought mabye it could help or what ever.
I didn’t know it was horror movie especially a psychological horror, I don’t do well with that sort of things because I have a lot of anxiety. By half way through the film I was just frozen and scared like terrified my entire body felt weird my heart aching my eyes were like trying to cry. And I KEEPED saying I my head “where is like the trans part?”.
I relate so much to the time passing thing, that’s where a lot of my anxiety come from. I have an I yess fear of passing time. And living an unloved life so by the end of the movie when he’s old living in the same house with the same job I was so freaked out. And Mabye I was to freaked out that I missed the queer parts? And the part where he screams like heart my heart so bad, for me I thought it was like a realisation that he’s stuck in like a simulation like that society has built and he can’t get out and he can’t bring back the happiness and the Color life had when he was younger. And that freaked me out so much. But when the movie ended I was just so confused. Because I knew this was a trans film and I didn’t see it? Mabye I was blinded by my anxiety or Mabye I just don’t understand because I don’t relate or something? But have dysphoria so I’m confused. Anyways I questioned my whole life and existence and cried for ages afterwords.