But I don’t really have anywhere else to say this and I feel comfortable here and I trust some of you guys. I’m kind of crashing out rn.
I haven’t been on for like a few days because I have pneumonia because I have lupus and I’m on like 4 immunosuppressants and a kid hugged me so I’m obviously going to die. Anyway, every time I’m away for a minute I worry that they banned this place while I was gone and I’ll be alone online forever or something. So now I’m crying because it’s still here, which I feel isn’t normal but it is what it is.
Because shockingly an ex sex worker struggling incredibly hard to hold on to sobriety has tons of issues and trauma and my mom has spent the last 2 days purposely triggering the ptsd she fucking caused and then mocking me and belittling me for reacting as expected and I haven’t had a cigarette in a week because of the pneumonia and I’m not super ok right now.
Like, I’m ok, I’m not going to harm myself or anything, I just really want to get high and I also really don’t and I’m in the hospital anyway and it isn’t the first time and it won’t be the last that I’ve felt this way. I think being trapped is making it harder. I wonder if they have aa meetings in here that I can get wheeled to or something lol.
Idk sorry for the trauma dump. Thanks to anyone who reads this. I hope you’re all doing better than me. We need a cool saying we can sign off with like how marines say boo-ra, also. So maybe if you think of one, suggest it.