Regular Show is fucking overrated
Listen up, you absolute clowns, because I am reaching a level of caffeine-induced, existential rage that hasn’t been seen since the dawn of time. I just spent the last forty-eight hours trapped in the godforsaken vortex of Regular Show and its supposedly "hidden" bastard child Regular Show: The Lost Tapes, and I am convinced that my brain has been replaced by a pile of sentient, molding trash.
THE ABSOLUTE AUDACITY OF THE PREMISE
Are you kidding me with this? You’ve got a blue jay and a raccoon—two creatures that should be, I don’t know, doing animal things—and they’re "groundskeepers." Groundskeepers! They don't keep grounds. They don't even keep their dignity.
Every single episode follows the exact same formula designed to gaslight the entire human race:
They have to do a chore. One chore. Like, "pick up a piece of paper" or "don't die of boredom."
They decide, "Nah, let's play a video game or eat a sandwich made of sorrow instead."
BOOM. Reality cracks open like a cheap egg, and suddenly they’re fighting a god-tier demon from the 17th dimension because they didn’t have enough money to fix a hole in the wall and they didn’t want their boss, who is a FUCKING ANTHROPOMORPHIC GUMBALL MACHINE BTW, to get pissed at them! and these cunts are 23 years old! They’re literally full grown adults even if they’re an anthropomorphic male blue jay and raccoon trio!
How the actual fuck does that happen? How do you go from "mowing the lawn" to "intergalactic warfare with a giant floating head"? It’s not "Regular." It’s a fucking fever dream fueled by expired weed brownies and even more retarded work ethics. It’s an insult to every blue-collar worker who has ever picked up a rake without accidentally summoning an ancient curse.
THE "LOST TAPES" ARE A WAR CRIME
And then… oh, then we get to The Lost Tapes. You think the main show is a trip? This "continuation" bullshit is like someone took the original show, dunked it in NAPALM, and ALLOWED IT TO AIR ON MAY 11 BECAUSE THE WORLD HASN’T SUFFERED ENOUGH.
• The Logic: about as consistent as MODERN SIMPSONS)!!
• The Stakes: Retarded.
• My Patience: Fucking raped and violated.
It’s just more of the same chaotic shitshow but with the "edginess" dialed up to a point where it stops being funny and starts being a cry for help from the animators. It’s like watching a car crash in slow motion, except the van is full of magical artifacts and the driver is a talking bird who refuses to acknowledge that he’s the reason everything is on fire!!!
and don’t get me started on that FUCKING RETARDED TINFOIL HAT, X FILES TRANSPORT METHOD!: “TAKE US TO THE MOON TAKE US TO THE MOON WHOA”, like stfu!!! That and the keyboard mashing manages to make me cringe even more than their signature “OHHHHHHHH!!!” chant!!!
THE VERDICT
If I hear one more person tell me this retarded chasm of a “cartoon“ is "relatable," I am going to fucking run my car into the nearest fucking tree, pour gasoline around it and light myself on fire with a match! Nothing about this is relatable unless you regularly engage in cosmic battles because you two cunts were too lazy to clean your room.
Regular Show is a piece of dogshit; it’s also a medieval torture experiment experiment to see how much bullshit the public can swallow before we all collectively snap and kill JG QUINTEL AND HIS CAST MEMBERS AND SAVE MARK HAMMILL!!!. Well, I’ve snapped. I’m done. I’m going to go commit dye—an act that would mostly put me out of my fucking MISERY!!!!!!!!!!!!
TL;DR: Two lazy retarded 23 year old anthropomorphic furry guys fuck up the universe every Tuesday because they’re too lazy to do shit! Everything is apparently retarded and I have no idea how Mordecai has a fucking girlfriend who is ALSO an anthropomorphic blue jay and apparently he also has an ex who is a fucking talking cloud… WHAT?!
i am so done… fuck this shit, I’m out!