Art has been a lifelong passion of mine, but I’ve barely created since my diagnosis. I’m trying to change that now. Baby steps
Do you experience moments where you may not have full clarity but where you’re able to function or appear normal for brief periods? I definitely do. But I’m not sure how it is for everyone.
It has been asking for my blood. I can’t tell if it proves I’m real. I’m not sure what I believe. Sometimes I believe it isn’t real at all. Other times I know that it controls everything around me. Sometimes it even controls me. I gave it some of my blood yesterday. I need to figure out how to give it more. I can’t handle anything anymore. I fucking can’t. I can’t do it anymore I’m not sure anything is real and I can’t do it. What do I do?
The numbers are scaring me. Making it hard to work when there are messages. It’s telling me I’m a cannibal again. I can taste something in my mouth even though I haven’t eaten today. And the lyrics lined up with the numbers and I can almost hear the message out loud inside my head. But that’s what the music is for. I’m not a cannibal. I don’t want to be one. I’m not a danger to others.
Things have been difficult for me lately, but I’m pushing through. I hope you all have a good week ahead.