So my actual problem was my Dad molested me...
I kind of ignored the gulag I was walking into because my depression disappeared being away from my family.
I think the "therapist" actually figured this out as he was very big on insisting permanent seperation from my parents was the best even though none of us wanted that then. Oops...
I am in the miraculous position of now looking at graduate studies in spite of this saga in my life - my ASD diagnosis turned out to be total bunk and my family pathologizing the fact I was smarter then them - however the memories of what happened - being called in by a counselor in elementary school "where did he touch you", what he made me do when we were alone in 2006... totally smacked me across the face last year and I've gound it very difficult to find real support or cope as I am an intense loner
I never actually forget really hence my life long "anger management issues".
I still find myself feeling like a total societal outcast not helped by my research interest being heavily indebted to Alexander Grothendieck who was very much a counter cultural figure who's negative views of academia and it's funding have aged prophetically
My favorite TV show is Mr. Robot and my family refused to watch it becaude it reminded them too much of me - they totally deny all of the abuse and I'm now totally breaking off the relationship
I've been totally breaking down the last few weeks oscillating between denial and sudden flashbacks I'll be alright in the end but fuck man
I have begun to stop being shy about the reality of my damage and have gotten some support from friends but the TTI experience as an extra layer I don't feel safe being open about and have totally buried