This instructor is one I've had for over a year and we've had many issues with her - constantly changing times and then cancelling on us, so much so that I've gone weeks without lessons because she gave my requested spot (watched her book it in for me) away and there was no further availability. If I don't respond immediately to a message about a slot, she gives it away in minutes. I have always adapted to her circumstances, whether that be her showing up an hour early and demanding I do my lesson right then or travelling to different areas of town for her convenience - even once, my lesson had to stop halfway through because she left her phone in a public bathroom and it got stolen.
I have never cancelled once except for this week. I have my driving test coming up so I asked for 2 lessons a week; we agreed (last week) on Wednesdays and Saturdays, though for this week she contacted me on Wednesday evening to change it to Thursday, which I then had to cancel since that did not work for me. I was supposed to have a lesson today, Saturday, at 10am. I booked it with her in-person but unfortunately forgot and ended up sleeping through. Just a few days ago, I messaged her asking for explicit confirmation of a lesson's date and time several days in advance, because I cannot stand the constant time changes (she calls at 7am asking to change the lesson to 8 instead of 10 on the day, and I'm always asleep at that time). She agreed to this but has not acted on it, and there was no text confirmed the lesson that was supposed to happend today.
When I cancelled that lesson on Thursday, she sent a simple thumbs up reaction, but has now brought up that cancellation to say it should never have happened and she was being 'courteous' as she has a 48 hour cancellation policy, even though she changed that lesson less than 24 hours before it was set to happen. She has stated I need to pay the full lesson price for today's lesson despite not attending, which I can understand, but there are some things I'm not sure about.
She does not work through an agency (she is a registered driving instructor) and only takes payment in cash straight to her hands. She called at 8 today, asking to have the lesson then as there was 'bad traffic', though I didn't respond as I was sleeping. Then she asked me to meet at town at 10am, which I would not have been able to do and the lesson would have to be cancelled. She drove all the way to my house at 10 (40 minutes drive according to her), sat outside for 20 minutes, called twice, then drove away. She did not ring the doorbell or message my mother (which she normally does if I'm a minute late, and that always gets me to my lesson). My mother says we should not pay her, but I'm not sure what to do - I think it's my fault for forgetting and sleeping in, but 76 pounds is a lot of money (she only does 2 hour lessons) and I don't want to give it away for no reason.
Should I just pay her? My mother is refusing to pay but has not said anything to her yet, can she do anything if we don't?