Hello everyone,
I’m seeking some insight into my chart regarding a lifelong cycle that has left me feeling quite burnt out. I just turned 36, and looking back, I realize I’ve had to be the "parent" or the "herder" for my siblings and family since I was very young.
This theme has followed me into adulthood. Whether it’s family, friends, or romantic relationships, I am always the one providing, leading, and taking care of everyone else. I feel like I am in a never-ending loop where, as soon as I manage to build some financial security, someone suddenly needs help, and the money "goes out the window."
A few specific things I’m struggling with:
- The Struggle vs. Luck: I feel like I’ve had to fight for every single thing I have. I see others catch "lucky breaks," but for me, if I don't work myself to the bone, I don't get results.
- The Provider Burden: Is it my purpose to simply provide for others while burning myself to the ground? I want to know if my chart shows a release from this dependence others have on me.
- Career/Finances: I am currently planning to launch a business. Given my history of financial "leaks" to others and the need to fight for every win, I’m terrified it might not work out.
I hate feeling like a martyr or sounding helpless, but I am tired of the constant uphill battle. Does my chart indicate a shift toward more ease or a "lucky break" in my late 30s? Will my finances ever stabilize for me, rather than just for those I support?
I’d appreciate any insight you can offer. Thank you for your time and for reading.