Why does no one take my insecurity seriously?
Just typing this on reddit because I have no one to talk about this irl. Most people just dont understand the struggle or cut me off and are in general not helpful. Even my therapist didnt take me seriously and I dont wanna bring up the topic to her now. So im about 5'2-5'3 Im not sure and I dont really wanna right now ngl. Im 17, male and im pretty sure my growth plates are fused since I havent grown in almost a year and I have pretty short parents. I genuinely feel like a sub human, a joke of a man. I don't care about all the debates about how women only want 6'+ men and stuff like that, I have a girlfriend. I wouldnt even mind being a moderetly short man, I would love being 5'6-5'7. I just really feel like my height is not normal, I feel like less of a human whenever I walk outside. I keep comparing myself to other people, men and women. Ive tried really hard to feel better about myself but I just cant. I get a boost of confidence every once in a while but always something triggers my insecurity and I fall back into hating my height. Its even more depressing as I spent the entire last year trying to figure out ways to get taller and doing these sketchy streches that promise height only for those to do nothing. I keep comparing my height to my self made measurements on the wall and its always the same, eh not exactly but thats only because my measuring ways are trash and im always a little bit off. Also I really hate how height is the first thing notice about me. Every single one of my friends has made at least one comment about it. I changed schools this year and had to make new friends. This kid comes up to me and we start hanging out, at some point they genuinely say out of nowhere "youre so short" now I was used to hanging out with people much taller, theyre about 5'5 or something and I was kinda happy about finally having someone closer to my height be my friend so this really caught me off guard. I was like "we dont have that big of a difference" and they reply "youre the shortest person Ive been friends with" this really hit me, this person only has had female friends before talking to me (because they said I looked cool) and I realized that damn, even most women are taller than me here. And I also have another friend (female) who keeps making fun of my height at random times being like "bro youre so short even IM taller than you and im a woman" "Youre the shortest man ive ever seen" "Your clothes look big on you because youre so short" "No woman would like a man this short" "Maybe you should do surgery or something" I never laugh along I just stare at her until she stops saying stuff like "ok" like I get one or two jokes about it but especially when im trying to feel better about myself these jokes every single day really do not help me. I wanna tell them how much I hate these jokes but I dont wanna seem insecure, I am, but I dont want people to think of me as insecure, I just believe this will make me even less in peoples eyes but I hate having to keep up with this too, its slowly decreasing my mental health, I only ever really feel happy when im alone where I dont have to think about my height. And now I know that I need therapy and I have tried talking to my therapist about this but she just dismissed it saying "well you cant do anything about it so just dont be insecure" and I tried to explain but she didnt really understand why I was insecure Ig. I hate this therapist in general tbh but thats another thing. The thing is I cant really switch therapists rn and everyone I try to vent to either starts saying "oh damn well im actually 180" and starts flexing about them being taller, makes fun of me for it or just genuinely doesnt get me and why im insecure. I just feel stuck having to deal with this problem on my own, I keep scrolling through reddit posts trying to fit men around my height who can relate, who I can talk to, maybe try to find some positivity. The thing is I dont have a real "reason" to be insecure other than being made fun of, I was still insecure before even people started commenting on it, I just hate my height, it just makes me feel less. I stare at my reflection in public spaces hoping "maybe I dont look that bad" but I always end up realizing I look even worse than I thought. I look at picturew of me and my friends and theyre all so much bigger, im that one midget of a man. My face is generally attractive and I think id look really good if I was just taller. Id be able to live my life normally, I wouldnt just suddenly get quiet duirng normal convos because I compare my height with everyone around me. I know this is true because when I stand on tall places and feel like I'm normal height at least for just a little I feel so much better, I feel normal. I have nothing else to be insecure about, my only debuff is my height, im an average looking guy, healthy who is just abnormally short. Idk what to do about this, idk how to feel better. Maybe shoe lifts would be a solution but I dont wanna damage my feet, I love my athletisism also lifts feel in general fake and I know id feel awful if I ever had to remove them around peole to reveal my true height. Maybe at least not for now, I dont wanna go school suddenly being taller, everyone would know its the shoes, everyone would realize im insecure about it. Trying my best to max everything else and hoping that itll just pass. Idk just venting, probably no one will even read this, my vents usually get like 10 views, 1 upvote and 0 comments but still its nice getting that out of my chest.