Reddit recommended this post for me to read, because a few days ago I searched r/Buddhism for some reference. It is a post from r/self I read it and find it use a lot of Buddhism terms and concepts, but I find a lot of contradictions, made up beliefs, misunderstandings. English is not my 1st language, so maybe it could also be my misinterpretation also, but I find it full of BS, full of unaware self pride. What do you think?

Observing without attachment (title)

i do not experience life the way most people describe it.

when people speak about ambition, loneliness, love, passion, hatred, grief, attachment, belonging, or self-discovery, i understand the concepts intellectually, but not with the same emotional weight they seem to carry for others. it is not that i oppose these things, nor that i secretly long for them while pretending not to. rather, they exist at a distance from me, like observing weather patterns through glass. (seems like lack of empathy, sympathy? sheltered life? Like, I am calm, others are unstable?)

and like from as early as i can remember becoming conscious of myself, there has been a strange continuity to my existence. time passed, knowledge accumulated, my body aged, environments changed slightly, but internally there was no dramatic transformation. (every child are wild, even kids with autism. Here insist that calmness since very early childhood)

the person at nineteen does not feel fundamentally different from the child who first became aware of being alive. there are differences in information, vocabulary, and observation, but not in essence. (Seems like this person's age is 19. I don't think this person remembers childhood correctly. Children have raw emotions and spontaneity, they are wild animals)

people often assume that emotional detachment must emerge from trauma, repression, loneliness, or hidden suffering. but i do not experience myself as broken. in fact, what defines my existence more than suffering is stability. a kind of psychological flatness that persists independently of circumstances. i do not strongly fear death, but neither do i obsess over it emotionally. (This person assumes that people assumes. here talks about mental stability, but has fear of death, just not strongly)

to me, existence and nonexistence do not appear separated by the immense emotional barrier that most humans instinctively perceive. this does not mean i am constantly trying to die. rather, i experience life and death with a kind of neutral equivalence that is difficult to communicate without people projecting panic, despair, or pathology onto it. (This part confuse the f out of me because of the "experience life and death" as equal. Previous paragraph talked about fear of death even. IMO, Paramedics maybe numb due to the job, but that's not mental stability)

what distances me from others is not superiority, hatred, or misanthropy. it is observation. when i look at human beings, i see patterns first: conditioning, social repetition, identity structures, emotional algorithms, cultural inheritance, fear loops, reward systems, historical momentum. even hatred becomes understandable when examined causallyy , racism, cruelty, fanaticism, tribalism... these do not appear to me as isolated moral defects emerging from nowhere, but as conditioned phenomena arising from environments and psychological structures. i may not condone them, but anger dissolves once the mechanisms become visible. (all simple observations but labeled, biased, and put the blame of distancing on the observation of human beings)

this perspective creates distance. most human interaction appears recursive. conversations often resemble patterned exchanges rather than genuine contact between fundamentally unique entities. the more these structures become visible, the harder it becomes to emotionally participate in ordinary social reality. i do not seek salvation, reinvention, or emotional awakening. i do not view myself as waiting to be healed by friendship, romance, or purpose. those narratives belong to other people. my existence is quieter than that. more observational. more structurally aware. less emotionally convinced by the stories humans tell themselves about meaning. (I couldn't help but commented that human made the choice to create distance, not the perspective. I said that I know humans aren't perfect, but I choose to belief humans are lovely, and we all try hard to become better. I said that go out there do the hardest community service and see if stability, calmness still remain unchanged. I see this post as so full of him/herself.)

and yet, despite all this, i continue. not because of hope. not because of fear. not because of attachment. simply because the process continues