hello all,
i am a beginner manifestor and i only started last week. before i start my problem, I would like any advice in manifesting stuff like friends. me and my friends are very different on the surface: theyre filipino, i'm black, they're straight, i'm lesbian, they're religious (some are questioning themselves tho) and i'm agnostic atheist. one of my desires that i have not affirmed for yet is a group of black queer non religious girls that i can relate to at least on those topics. i'm currently manifesting for money, a full ride scholarship, and something huge for my birthday (an all expense paid/free birthday trip in business class). being a beginner i am unsure if i should take it easy or just go for it. so far i have just been robotically affirming, using subliminals when i can, and persisting even when the 3d proves me wrong sometimes. i still can't shake the feeling of anxiety/panic that happens when something contradicts my affirmations. I am also struggling being patient, i affirm that all my desires are here instantly but i have not seen it reflected in the 3d yet. on to the main thing:
for some quick context i left partway through grade 11 and was out of country for two years. i went back for a couple of months from november to march but now i am in Mexico. i *potentially* will go back to canada for uni (this is a different problem actually, my parents had chosen a school that i do not want to go to, and i am manifesting that they change their mind to a better sounding option in that country and that i simultaneoulsy get a full ride scholarship to one of the schools i already applied for in canada. except they don't offer that but i'm persisting anyways). anyways my main problem is that due to the distance i feel like i have sort of drifted a bit from my friends. i don't really bring it up often but sometimes i see a relatable tiktok and i comment that exact sentiment. and i fear i may have affirmed that unintentionally? nowadays i feel a tad idk ignored? this is a trivial thing but they do not really react to or acknowledge my messages these days. they just go unliked and someone else brings up another topic like a game or something and they all start talking. i will admit that sometimes i do not reply but i do at least react to their messages. I am also rarely online these days too i pop in like a couple of times a day. this isn't only me though another one of my friends is also barely online due to work and school. I don't know if this is me projecting but yeah. we still have good/funny interactions and stuff and liike when they saw me off a couple of months ago i didn't really feel any shift in the vibe (except for the fact that one of them wasn't there and none of them said anything until i asked another one why. so yeah i need help figuring out if i manifested this or if it's just the amount of time away or me being worried over nothing or whatever. when i think of our one-on-one interactions, those seem good so maybe it's just the group dynamic lately? idk. sorry for the wall of text.
Edit: today might have just been an off day but I’d still like a group of friends that I relate to with certain things, I love my friends but I feel a bit lonely sometimes.